The One Where Ross Tries To Fix Everything
by Oldreruns
Summary: A sort of canon A/U Friends story. As Ross finds a way to fix the mistakes of his past, what will that mean for the rest of his friends? Can he repair the damage caused by the unintended consequences of his actions? This takes place right after S9E13. As always, thanks for taking the time to read.
1. Ross Ruins Everything

**Ross Ruins Everything**

Ross stood in his living room for a long time after Rachel had left. He barely moved since then, looking like a statue, with his hands on his hips and his head down. He felt as though he may have just ruined everything yet again with his irrational jealousy. He cursed his self-righteous temper, the one that always flared up whenever he and Rachel seemed to have reached an impasse. Knowing that was when his worst impulses would take over, causing irreparable damage to the ever-widening rift in their dichotomy.

Of all the drag-down, bare-knuckled fights that they have had through the years, this one may have resulted in the worst possible outcome. She was moving out, and she was taking his daughter with him. He was now facing the prospect of being a parent to two children that he did not live with. That fantasy of what his future was supposed to look like, with his children running into his bedroom in the morning to wake him up, his wife lying at his side, all but destroyed now. It was never going to happen. Instead, he would be juggling weekends, holidays, and sleepovers.

The thought of that made him start to get angry with Rachel all over again. How could she not even wait one more day? Why couldn't she give him one more night with Emma? Was she being that spiteful? No, of course she could not give him more time. This was Rachel. Everything had to be of the highest drama. She just had to demonstratively pack her bag, grab some of Emma's things, strap the baby in the stroller, and take off. How could she be that irresponsible? The least she could have done was let Emma stay here with him. Where would she sleep at Joey's? Was she truly that blind with anger?

How could he have even let it get this far? Why did Rachel dating bother him so much this time around? Was he in love with her? He pondered that question for a long time and he simply could not answer it. He knew he still wanted her to live here with him. He was not ready to see her with other men. He wanted to raise their child together. He knew he would always love her in some way. Yet, was he in love with her? He did not know.

He needed to get out of this space. He needed to walk around and get some air. Being in this room, where he could still smell her, was too much for him. He could not think clearly, as long as he stood here, frozen in her wake. He had to escape from her for a little while and that would not happen here with the lasting imprint of her very essence found in every corner of his apartment. He pulled on his coat and walked towards the door to leave. He was not sure where he would go, but he knew that the answers to his questions were not in here.

As he stepped out onto the street, he was lost in thought. Could he still love her? They always had a connection. A bond between them that was nearly unbreakable no matter how tenuous it would become. No matter how many other people they would date, it always seemed as though they would end up back in each other's arms. They had passion and fire. She was beautiful. Sexy. Strong-willed. Funny. She was the dream girl, even if that dream did not work out for them in the real world.

Ross was surprised when he looked up and found himself at the entrance to Central Perk. He originally planned to walk around the city for a while, but he must have instinctively made his way over here instead. Running on autopilot as he thought about what tonight meant for the rest of his life. Maybe it was for the best that he blindly stumbled over here. He always did his best thinking sitting still, unlike Chandler who always needed to pace about in order to collect his thoughts.

He made his way inside, ordered a coffee and settled down at one of the small tables near the front window once he noticed the group of people already sitting around the orange couch he and his friends were accustomed to having for themselves. He sipped at his coffee and watched the passersby outside on the sidewalk. He tried to come up with some way to put a bright spin on his current situation. Maybe this is just the new normal. A family dynamic for the new millennium. Three moms and one dad. Like some polygamist's wild dream.

He sat quietly for a few minutes and tried to still his mind. He stared again out the window and his eye caught what very well could have been a married couple, pushing a stroller past the coffee house. A family on a late evening walk, maybe to soothe a fussy baby back to sleep before they turned in for the night. Watching them pass by, he realized that he did not like the new normal. He wanted what they appeared to have. The marriage, the family, everyone living in the same home. He wanted that more than anything else in the world.

He looked down at his nearly empty cup of coffee and sighed. He realized that there was no use in trying to delay the inevitable. He might as well go back to his apartment and start packing up some of Emma's things. He thought, maybe in doing that, he would show Rachel how supportive he was. Suddenly, he was broken out of his melancholy when he heard a familiar, if slightly self-conscious voice call his name.

"Ross? Right?"

Ross turned around and looked up. It was Phoebe's friend, the scientist guy. He wracked his brain as fast as he could to remember his name. _"Danny? No. Devin? Definitely something with a D. Darwin?" _

"David! Right? David."

David pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and smiled nervously. "Yeah. How are you?"

"I'm good."

David started to look around the room, his eyes darting all over. "Uh, you wouldn't happen to know where Phoebe is, do you? I tried her apartment but she wasn't there and thought maybe she would be here. You guys all always seem to be hanging around this place."

Ross let out a weak laugh and looked down at himself. "Nope. Just me. All alone."

"Oh. Well. That's too bad. You know her and me, we kind of have this thing where we bump into each other serendipitously when I am in town, I was hoping, in the few hours I had free, we might do that again. I guess not this time."

Ross gave him a flat smile. "Are you working?"

David nodded and offered Ross a crooked smile. "Kind of. I'm only here for another hour and then I fly back to Minsk. I have to head back to my lab here in the city before I catch my flight."

Ross started to get up from his seat. "Well, it was nice seeing you again."

"Well, if you see Phoebe, let her know I was looking for her. I wouldn't even be here if we didn't have this breakthrough in the lab. The government made the entire research team return to the states to debrief us. I'm actually going to secure the equipment now."

Ross perked up a bit, becoming slightly more interested. "Really? What kind of breakthrough. You know, I am also a scientist."

David had a surprised reaction to his declaration. "I thought you were a paleontologist?"

Ross glared back at him. "Paleontology is a science David!"

David chuckled under his breath nervously. "Sure. Next you'll be telling me Geology is a science."

Ross huffed and rolled his eyes. "Come on. You can tell me. Is it top secret?"

"Well, yes actually, but you know, uh…"

Ross interrupted him and put his hand on David's shoulder. "I could really use some science talk to get my mind off some girl troubles."

David smiled and nodded his head. "I've been there buddy. Okay, come on. I'll show you. You just have to promise to keep this to yourself." Ross nodded and the two of them excitedly exited the coffee house.

* * *

Once they arrived in the darkened lab, the two of them stumbled around until David found the light switch. He pointed at some nondescript machinery in the corner of the room proudly. "Well there it is."

Ross studied the equipment intently. There was an examination table low to the floor, large enough for someone to lay down on. A metal helmet was positioned at one end of the bed. There were wires attached to the headgear that connected it to a panel of switches, dials and knobs.

"What, uh, what is it?"

David walked over to it and clapped his hands together excitedly. "Why it's a time machine, of course!"

Ross scoffed and twisted up his face in disbelief. "What? Come on. That isn't real. And you made fun of paleontology!"

David approached the machine and started to flip some switches. "No, really. We were working on some way to detect tachyon particles, and these helmets were supposed to help us do that by slowing them down. Or maybe they were speeding us up. I don't really know. Anyway, in some freak way, they actually let us break the time paradox. We discovered that with this machine, you can only inhabit your own body at some other point in time. We figured out a way to pinpoint where to send you and how to get you back and now, the government wants to lock it up."

Ross shook his head, clearly disbelieving everything that David just told him.

"Let me prove it to you. Uh, check your pockets and empty them of everything. Don't leave anything in them." Ross nodded reluctantly and emptied out his pockets, placing the contents on the table next to him. David placed the helmet on his head and furiously turned a few of the dials. "Okay. Now. I'll just set this to three minutes ago when we first got here." He then laid down on the table and reached his hand over as he gripped a large toggle switch. "Now I just pull this down and…" David turned down the switch and his body went limp as he slumped down onto the exam table.

Ross started to look worried and searched the room. "Uh, David? Are you okay? Did you electrocute yourself? What do I do?"

David's eyes opened suddenly and he smiled at Ross. "See! I did it!"

"You did what? Pass out?"

"No, I time traveled. Look in your jacket pocket."

Ross shoved his hands into his jacket pockets as he looked at David suspiciously. His eyes went wide as he pulled out a folded up piece of paper. He opened it and his mouth went agape in stunned shock. He read the note aloud. "Hey Ross! It's David! I time traveled! Loving dinosaurs is not science." He darted his eyes back up to David. "Oh my god! But how?"

"We don't really know. We found a wavelength or some stream that opened up time. Right now, we just used it to observe. We don't know what messing with time could do."

Ross nodded slowly, his eyes still stuck on the piece of paper he held in his hands. Suddenly,he jumped back, startled from his near catatonic state as a loud crash rang out from down the hall.

David scurried towards the door to the lab. "Oh no. My cat got into the chem lab! I'll be right back. Do not touch anything!" He then exited the lab and ran down the hallway.

Ross looked at the machine and spoke in a mocking tone. "Don't touch anything." He reached out his index finger and tapped it on the top of the helmet. "I'm touching something David. Nothing bad happened. I told you I was a scientist!" Suddenly, a rash and irresponsible idea flashed through his head. "Wait. I could use this to fix everything. I could make it so Rachel doesn't move out. I could make it so we never broke up!" He looked up at the ceiling and ran his fingers through his hair. "Come on Ross. Remember! Think! It was before Valentine's day." He snapped his fingers, smiled, and began to study the front of the machine.

Satisfied he figured out how it worked, he reached over and turned the dials that manipulated the date. He stopped it on February 13th 1997. He then turned the clock dial back to 22:35. He quickly put the helmet on, laid down on the table and pulled the toggle switch that he had watched David pull on just a few moments ago. A surge of electric shock shot through him as he bit his tongue and passed out.

* * *

Ross' vision was blurry and he had a hard time focusing his attention on any of the amorphous shapes he saw before him. He could hear a dull thumping in his head that seemed to be coming from all around the room. He blinked his eyes a few times and light began to break through his hazy state. He realized that the thumping was music playing over some speakers. He saw a sea of people dancing in front of him and before he could collect himself, he felt someone grab at his stomach.

"Hey Dinosaur guy! Look at you. All sad. Come dance!"

He spun his head around and saw Chandler and Joey dancing, their concerned eyes fixated on him. A slow smile began to form on Ross' lips as he spied Chandler's goatee and studied his thin frame. "My god! It worked!" he looked over at Chloe. "And we haven't had sex yet!"

Chloe looked back at him, a confused expression on her face. "Oh no, did you have some of Isaac's special mushrooms?"

"What? No. Look, uh, I have to go!" Ross turned around and ran out of the club as fast as he could. He searched up and down the street for a cab, but he knew with the snow coming down it would be impossible to find one that was available. Still in shock at what was happening to him, he clumsily ran down the street, all the way to Bedford and Grove, into the lobby, and up the stairs to Rachel's apartment.

Out of breath and soaked through to the skin, he charged into the kitchen to find Rachel alone, cleaning up some Chinese food containers. She looked up at him, stunned, and pulled her hand to her mouth. "Ross! What happened? Where is your coat? What are you doing here?" Ross doubled over, out of breath and supported himself on the kitchen table. "Ross? You're scaring me? Is this about Mark? I sent him away once I got off the phone with you. I'm so…"

Ross stood up straight, rushed to her, grabbed her by the arms and cut her off. "Rachel. I'm so sorry. I don't want a break. I love you!"

Rachel allowed a few tears to fall down her face. "Oh, I'm sorry too! I don't want a break either!"

They embraced with enough force that they almost fell on the floor. He kissed her roughly and mumbled under his breath. "It will be different this time. I promise." Rachel pulled back to look at him, slightly confused, but he pressed his lips to hers once more to stop any questions that might have come from her mouth. All he knew in this moment was that he had done it. He fixed them. He fixed everything.

* * *

Ross' eyes opened up and he looked around the room. He felt disoriented, but he recognized the angles of his own bedroom, even though the color of the walls appeared to be a bit brighter. The sun peaked through his window and he squinted at the light. Was it just a dream? It had to be. David, the time machine, running in the snow, it all seemed so foggy now. It had to be a dream. He was here, in his own bed.

Yet, he wondered to himself, why did his sheets feel strange? They were softer. Warmer somehow. His let his eyes run along the walls as he tried to relax his mind. There was his picture of Ben, his name written at the bottom in decorative calligraphy. He smiled and felt comfort in the familiarity of it. He let his gaze fall to the picture frame beside it and his eyes opened wide in shock. There on the wall next to Ben's picture was a photo of a young girl who looked to be three or four years old. He squinted his eyes to read the calligraphy at the bottom of the frame. Emma.

He shot up straight into a sitting position on his bed when suddenly, an arm reached over and wrapped around his abdomen. "Ross, no. Five more minutes."

Ross looked over to his side and brought his knuckles up to his mouth. "Rachel? What are you doing here?"

"I'm trying to get a few more minutes of sleep before the Emma and Ben train comes storming in here. You know how excited they get to go eat breakfast at their Aunt Monica's. I'm surprised they let us sleep this long."

"What?" He dropped his hand to his chest and tried to slow down his breathing, feeling as if her were hyperventilating. "What, uh, what's going on?" He scanned the room again, and his eyes stopped on what looked to be a wedding photo on top of the dresser. At first, he thought it was of Monica and Chandler, but once he focused his eyes, he recognized that the two people in the frame were he and Rachel. He pulled his hands up again erratically and his brow furrowed as he realized that there was a wedding band on his ring finger. "We're married?"

Rachel sat up and tenderly placed her hand on his arm. "Ross, do you feel okay?"

Ross started to calm down and took a few deep breaths. "Uh, yeah, I just, uh, I guess I had a dream and…."

Before he could finish, the bedroom door flung open as Ben and Emma charged in. Both yelled in unison. "Daddy! Daddy!"

Rachel propped herself up on her elbows and shot a discerning look at the two children now jumping on her bed. "Hey, what am I? Chopped liver over here?" Emma leaned over and hugged her mother. "Mommy!" Ben crawled around to the other side of her and squeezed his arms around her waist. "Aunt Rachel!"

She looked over at Ross and laughed. "Okay you two. We better get dressed and make our way over to Aunt Monica's for breakfast. You know how she gets when people are late."

A tear fell from Ross' eye and he wiped it away before anyone noticed. He could not believe that this was his life now. It really happened. He fixed everything.

* * *

As they made their way over to his sister's apartment, Ross tried to find out everything he could about his daughter as discretely as possible. He was still stunned that this four-year-old girl calling him daddy right now was just a baby last night. He was giddy with excitement at the prospect of catching himself up with the history of his new life.

They entered apartment twenty and Monica offered them a flat smile. She knelt down and hugged Ben and Emma tightly s they exchanged an excited greeting with their aunt. Once she released them, Ben and Emma each leapt up onto a chair and began to divvy up the stack of pancakes waiting for them. Rachel walked over to them with a stern look on her face. "Hey! You two slow down and behave."

Ross walked over to Monica and hugged her tightly. Still unable to wipe the smile from his face. She looked up at him, confused by his gregarious behavior. "What was that for?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "I'm just so happy and grateful for everything I have. My wife. My family. My sister. It is all so amazing!"

Monica looked back at him, appearing slightly annoyed, and shrugged herself out of his embrace. "Okay. Don't rub it in."

Ross looked around the room. "Where's Chandler? I got a hug for him too!"

Monica twisted up her face as her brow wrinkled in confusion. "Uh, well. Last I heard he was still in Tulsa."

Ross stepped back as he flashed his own bewildered expression. "What? But he quit. Remember. He came home for Christmas."

Monica narrowed her eyes at her brother. "Did you talk to him or something?"

Ross huffed in frustration. "What? We all did. He came home and told us all about it. He was here last night."

"What are you talking about?"

Rachel looked up from the table where she was cutting some of Emma's pancakes into smaller pieces. "I don't know Mon. He has been weird all morning."

Ross looked back-and-forth between the two of them. "But, I don't understand. Why would he still be in Tulsa?"

Monica shook her head incredulously at her brother. "Ross. What are you talking about? Chandler moved to Tulsa four years ago."

* * *

A/N - I know, I know. Another story? It's stupid of me to do this, but I mapped this one out a bit and thought I would try it out. I will probably hold off updating the pre-mondler story until this is finished. I promise it will not come as fast as "The Butterfly Effect" did (but then again, you never know). This will probably be a weird one, and time travel is just going to work however I need it to for this story. I don't want to elaborate more and give anything away. Hopefully this chapter was intriguing enough for you to want to go along for the ride.


	2. Ross Learns Everything

**Ross Learns Everything**

Ross could not stop staring at his sister. She looked like the Monica he knew before, but something was off about her. She was quieter. More apprehensive. There was a stoic nature to how she stood and spoke. Even when she would engage with his children and her smile was bright and wide, her eyes betrayed some disconnect between her mind and her heart. Even when he kissed her goodbye, there was a distance between them; her embrace had no warmth, her eyes appeared weary.

He knew he had to find out what had happened to his sister. What else did he screw up when he went back in time to fix his own relationship? He had to know. He waited until he and Rachel finally made it back to their apartment, and after Ben and Emma were distracted with their toys in their bedrooms before he tried to pry some information from Rachel.

"So, uh, Mon seemed different."

"Really? She seemed the same to me."

"No, I mean, well, doesn't she seem, I don't know. Sad?"

Rachel looked at him, her brow wrinkled as she listened to his uncertain voice. "Ross. She's been sad for a couple of years now. That's why we go to her place for breakfast so much. You know this. It was your idea to visit her as much as we could to try and cheer her up."

Ross ran his hand over his mouth, trying to cover the confusion that he had no doubt was clearly written all over his face. "Uh, you know, I, uh, took a few sleeping aids last night and I guess maybe I'm just kind of out of it."

Rachel sat down next to him and placed her hand on his forehead, checking to see if he had a temperature. "Are you sure you feel okay?"

"Yes. Just confused. You know what. Maybe if you just tell me what happened, it'll help clear me up. Jog my memory."

Rachel rolled her eyes as a skeptical look crossed over her face and sighed. "All right. Well, I guess it probably started when we got married."

* * *

_Monica could not wipe the smile from her face. Her brother and her best friend were married. It was like something out of a movie. They three of them were so close when they were children. Ross grew up to have a crush on Rachel, and years later, after they had drifted apart, Rachel came back into Monica's life. Before she knew what was happening, Ross and Rachel were dating. Ross was so sad after his divorce and Rachel saved him from that. Monica felt she owed her friend a debt of gratitude for fixing her brother._

_She looked over to her side at the man sitting in the chair next to her. She realized that there was another thing she needed to make sure she thanked her friend for. She reached out and ran her hand up and down his arm. Joshua. When Rachel offered to set her up with a client from work, she was reluctant, but Rachel assured Monica that he was a nice guy. And he was. Handsome too. He was almost the complete package. Almost. Until Ross came by with his stupid joke._

_"Hey! Maybe you two will be next. Think about, if you two have kids…"_

_Joshua almost jumped out of his skin. "Woah, woah, woah. We're having kids?"_

_Monica turned sharply at that. Although her and Joshua had only been together for a few months, she was not exactly a fan of how he responded to such an innocent comment about their possible future. Wasn't he at least thinking about where they were going? Could she be alone in wondering about where their relationship was heading?_

_Before she could say anything, Joey jumped up from his seat. "I call godfather!"_

_Chandler chuckled and then saw Ross' wounded expression. "Joe, you can't just call godfather. Don't you think her brother should be godfather?"_

_"Sure, if he cared enough to call it first."_

_Monica took Joshua by the hand and led him out to the dance floor. Looking back at her friends. "Guys, you're a few steps ahead of us." She chuckled and as they reached the far side of the room, away from the prying eyes and ears of her friends, she wrapped her arms around his neck and they began to slowly dance. "I'm sorry. You have to ignore them. They do that kind of stuff."_

_Joshua smiled nervously at her. "Yeah. I mean, they are way off base. Kids? I don't even want to get married again."_

_Monica stiffened up and arched her eyebrows at him. Wondering if she heard him correctly. "I'm sorry, did you say you don't want to get married?"_

_"Well, yeah. I thought Rachel told you that." He looked up as Monica released him and they stopped dancing. "Did I tell her that? Now I don't remember."_

_"Are you saying you never want to get married or have children?"_

_"Well, never say never but, uh, yeah. Probably never."_

_Monica's eyes opened wide in frustrations. "Then what are we even doing? What is this?" She walked away, storming out of the catering hall. She could not believe it. Another wedding, another boyfriend, another breakup over the future she had thought they both might want._

_When she got home that night, she realized, she was all alone. Rachel had finished moving out last week, and she and Ross would be leaving for their honeymoon shortly. Chandler was leaving for Oklahoma tomorrow. Phoebe was pregnant. Joey was hooking up with some bridesmaid back at the hotel. She had no one to turn to._

_She held herself in her kitchen for a long time. Wondering what was wrong with her. Why did this keep happening? She might have been caught in a self-destructive loop all night, but she was snapped out of it when she heard footsteps in the hall and opened her door._

_"Chandler?"_

_He spun around and offered her a half-smile as he was putting his key in his door. "Hey. Rachel told me you and Joshua broke up. I'm so sorry."_

_She looked at him nervously. She needed something. She was not sure what it was, but she thought maybe her friend could help her figure that out. "What, uh…what are you doing now?"_

_"Well, I was going to finish packing. My flight to Tulsa is at six."_

_"Right." She nodded and then looked down._

_Chandler stepped towards her. "Uh, you know. That can wait if you need company."_

_Monica smiled and looked deep into her friend's eyes. Studying him. Was this pity? Sincere concern? She could not tell. "Oh, no. I'll be fine. You probably have a lot to do and it is already almost midnight. Make sure you come over and say goodbye tomorrow before you leave."_

_Chandler nodded. "I will. And I promise. I'll be back here as often as I can to visit."_

_Monica gave him a weak, half-smile. As she turned away from him, her smile faded. She walked into her apartment and decided to leave the lights off. The dark room matched her mood. She lost her boyfriend and her two best friends in the same week. Could it get any worse?_

_A few weeks later, she was in the hospital with Ross, Rachel and Joey. All of them patiently waiting for Phoebe to give birth. Rachel came dancing around the corner as she handed Monica a cup of coffee._

_"You're going to be very proud of me. I just got you a date with a very cute nurse! His name is Dan and I really think you're going to like him."_

_Monica was skeptical, but decided to go along with it, and when she met him, she thought he was not half bad. So, they went to dinner that night, and he was handsome, smart, studying to be a doctor, a veteran. He was simply amazing. So amazing in fact, that Monica found herself in bed with him the night of their very first date._

_As she watched him sitting on the edge of her bed, pulling his pants on, she had this serene smile on her face. She wondered if maybe this could turn into something special. He turned back to look at her over his shoulder. "Wow. That was a lot of fun."_

_"I know. So, maybe we should do this again soon?"_

_Dan shrugged his shoulders and turned back around, focusing his attention on lacing up his shoes. "Sure."_

_Monica sat up and pulled her sheets up to her chest. "So, want to call me tomorrow?"_

_"Oh, I, uh. I don't know. I mean, I'm not looking for anything too serious. I'm sorry. I thought we were both on the same page here."_

_Monica started to stutter, trying to avoid humiliation she laughed and plastered a fake smile on her face. "Oh, yeah. Of course. We were just goofing around, right?"_

_"Yeah." Dan pressed a kiss on her forehead and started out the door. "I'll let myself out. Like I said. This was a lot of fun. Let me know when you want to goof around again." That was the last time Monica saw Dan. She was not interested in goofing around. Not at this stage in her life._

_Joey moved out of apartment nineteen shortly after that. The money Chandler had tricked him into accepting before he left for Tulsa ran out, and he was not working enough to pay his bills. Monica offered for him to move in with her, but he saw that as charity and refused. He ended up moving back into his parents' home in Queens._

_Chandler did come back that first winter for the holidays, and for a brief moment, it was like old times, and Monica was happy. Everyone was hanging out in her apartment. She was the host again for the first time in what felt like forever. Monica thought Chandler looked too thin. Rachel announced she was pregnant. Phoebe was dating a cop. Joey talked about moving to L.A._

_Everyone was still sipping at some wine in the living room when Monica spied Chandler outside on the balcony, smoking a cigarette. She quickly made her way outside and berated him enough about the cigarette that he stubbed it out and tossed it away almost immediately._

_"How long have you been smoking?"_

_"Uh, well, probably since I moved out there."_

_She slapped his arm. "Chandler!"_

_"Well, everyone else is doing it. In Oklahoma it's legal in all common areas in offices with fewer than fifteen people."_

_"Don't you have any willpower?"_

_"Well, my job is stressful. And, I don't really know anyone there. So, it is either smoke, or eat all my meals at 'So Cheesy' and get heart disease."_

_"Why did you go there? You seem miserable."_

_"I don't know. After Kathy I just felt a little lost. Joey was gone on that fishing trip; you had just started dating Joshua. Ross and Rachel were practically insuperable. I felt really alone. I guess, when my job offered me the position to run the Tulsa office, it made sense to take a shot at something different. Make a fresh start. Who knows? Maybe I would be sexy in Oklahoma."_

_Monica put her hand on his arm. "I'm sorry. We were all so busy doing our own thing."_

_He shook his head emphatically. "Hey, no. Its fine. It wasn't your fault. And besides, I make a lot more now. So, if I can't get someone with my rugged New York looks, maybe I can entice them with my money."_

_"Will you please try to quit smoking? Maybe, we can come out to see you there. You can show us the sights."_

_"Sight. There's only one."_

_Monica though, never did go out to see Chandler. And his visits became less and less frequent. It's been eighteen months since anyone has seen him. Six months since anyone has heard from him. But she thinks about him often, and she misses the friend she used to have._

_A couple of years had gone by. Monica had a few dates but nothing ever really worked out until Phoebe introduced her to Don, an English man who worked in the food importing business. They had a lot in common, especially when it came to food. They loved the same restaurants and enjoyed quipping about cooks who used too many sundried tomatoes. For a while, she really thought that he might be the one._

_Then, they went away for the weekend to a quiet town in Vermont for a culinary fair. At first, she and Don were excited. It would be the first time they ever spent this much time alone in such close quarters. Monica secretly thought this would be a practice run, to see if they could live together. Unfortunately, she found out fairly quickly, that they could not._

_The first room had dirty glasses. Monica knew that if they didn't change the glasses, chances were, they didn't change anything else. The next room was too small, not after they had paid for a suite. She wasn't going to let them pull one over on her. By this time, Don was already becoming exasperated with her. But she did not care, this weekend had to be perfect. The third room they tried had a funny smell coming from the carpet. And, by the time she found something wrong with the fourth room, Don had had enough. He flew into a rage about how much time they were wasting on such insignificant defects that no rational person would even notice. How she was being obsessive, and bossy, and shrill. He grabbed his bags, told her she would be impossible to live with, and left. Leaving Monica to find her own way home, and with the bill for the room she never even stayed in._

_She stopped dating for a while after that. Not trusting it anymore. She was tired of men telling her what was wrong with her, or men who rejected her because they did not want the same thing she did, or because they claimed she was too high maintenance. She had thought at one point, she must have dated every man in New York. And they all rejected her._

_The final straw, when she seriously considered never trying to date another man again, came when she was at her parents' house for dinner. Her father had inadvertently let it slip that Richard Burke had gotten remarried. She hadn't seen him since the ill-fated time they tried to be friends with benefits, and while she always wondered how he was, she never asked about him._

_He married a woman who was about fifteen years younger than him. While it stung to hear about an ex, who may or may not have been the one who got away, finding someone else, she wanted to be happy for him. That though, was before she heard the real news that was like a kick in the gut. That was before she heard from her mother that his new wife was pregnant._

_Monica spent a week processing that information. Did Richard want a child? Was it an accident? Was she just not good enough for him to consider raising a child with? Why was it so hard for her to find the right man, who wanted a future with her? Marriage, the house in the suburbs, the kids, the dog. Was she really asking for too much?_

_It was at that moment that she realized she made a mistake listening to Joey all those years ago. There will never be a Hoyt in her life. No big house where she would host pool parties. No. That was not going to be her future. But maybe, just maybe, she could at least have a baby._

_So, she went down to the fertility clinic and spoke with her OBGYN, and made a plan to choose a sperm donor and have a baby. Why not? She was almost thirty-four years old. If she waited any longer, it may never happen for her._

_The night that she had her first attempt at artificial insemination was one of the longest nights of her life. She was so happy. She knew she had made the right decision. She could not wait to have a baby._

_Only. It did not work. She did not get pregnant. So, she tried it again. And the second attempt did not work either. Finally, by the third failed attempt, her doctor decided to run some more invasive tests on her. And when she heard the words "inhospitable environment" a piece of her died. She discussed In Vitro, but her chances of implantation were low, and it was much too expensive for her anyway, especially after paying for three artificial insemination treatments._

_She had to face facts. Her dreams of being a mother were over. Her desire to be someone's wife, gone. She was broken. She was no longer the Monica that Ross had known. When family would gather, and everyone's kids were running around, Monica would sip at her glass of wine and make flippant comments about how she was "an old spinster cook" and everyone would go quiet. Meals became uncomfortable. Visits became less frequent. Monica was closing herself off._

_Ross and Rachel had decided that they would go see her every weekend with the kids. To at least try and brighten a morning or two, but they had Emma to take care of and they had their careers. They could not be around her all the time. Monica was on her own. Monica was all alone._

* * *

Ross could not stop himself from crying. "Oh my god I ruined her life."

Rachel, who seemed to have a permanent, confused and wrinkled brow thanks to her husband's behavior, shook her head. "Honey, you didn't do anything to her. How were you supposed to know she couldn't have children after you convinced her to let us use the name Emma?"

"What? You did that."

Rachel shook her head. "No, I didn't. She told us the names she had been saving and you begged her to let us use one of them since we couldn't agree on one ourselves. I guess she figured she had time to come up with another one."

Ross got quiet for a long time and then finally stood up from the couch. "She needs Chandler."

"What?"

Ross began to pace around frantically. "We have to get Chandler back here. We have to get them together. It's the only way."

Rachel appeared frightened at his demonstrative movements. "Ross."

"No, Rach. I know to you, it doesn't make sense, but I promise you; they belong together. We have to figure this out. We have to get him back here. We have to save her."

Rachel finally stands up and puts her hands on his shoulders, quieting his motions. "Ross!"

"What?"

"Chandler is not coming back."

"What? How do you know? We just have to talk to him."

"Ross. You did talk to him. Six months ago. You're the one who told me he was never coming back."

Ross stopped in his tracks. His eyes became small as he appeared confused. "What?"

Rachel put her hand on his cheek and gently caressed his face. "Oh baby, is that what all this has been about? Are you trying to block it from your memory so it won't hurt as much?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Look, I know he swore you to secrecy, but you told me and I haven't told anyone. But maybe we should talk about it more."

"Told anyone what? Talk about what?"

"That he has lung cancer."

Ross's mouth fell agape as he tried to process what she had just said. "What?"

"Well, I mean, ever since he moved to Tulsa, he had smoked around three cartons every two days."

"No!" Ross shook his head and started to charge at the door. "No! I have to fix this!" He rushed out into the hallway and ran down the hall, barely able to register Rachel's voice, which called to him frantically as he left.

It took Ross a long time to finally find the building where David had taken him that fateful night. He cupped his hands to look through the window. Was David even here? Would he have the machine in this timeline? Ross decided he could not entertain any doubts. David had to be here. It had to be here. He had to fix this somehow.

Ross began pounding on the door, yelling David's name, but there was no answer. He leaned up against the wall and tried to come up with some sort of plan. He looked around and found a large, jagged rock on the ground and raised it up, smashing it into the glass on the front door. He snaked his arm inside and unlocked it, letting himself in.

He ran around the lobby until he found a familiar hallway. He turned down and began searching every room until he found the lab David had shown him the machine in, and it was there. A little dusty, but everything from before seemed to be there. He frantically climbed on and put the helmet on his head. "Okay. I have to just get them together. That's all. I. uh, when? I don't know when my wedding day was here in this timeline. Monica had a date anyway. When could Monica have fallen in love with Chandler? Think Geller. Think! How do I do this?"

He snapped his fingers, smiled and started to turn the dial attached to the date. November 26th 1987. 11:00 hours. He hit the toggle switch and the familiar jolt of electricity ran through his body. He bit down hard the inside of his cheek and passed out.

* * *

Ross, groggily opened his eyes. He felt a familiar rocking sensation and realized that he was in a car. "Your Love" by The Outfield was playing on the radio. He looked over to the driver's seat and rubbed his eyes.

"Hey man, I guess you fell asleep. We should be at your parents house in an hour."

Ross could not help but smile. It was Chandler, in all his Flock of Seagulls haircut having glory. Ross laughed and shouted his name as he hugged him, which caused Chandler to swerve on the road. "Woah! Ross! What was that about!"

Ross wiped a tear from his eye and started to stammer. "I'm sorry, I just haven't seen you and you were sick and, uh, um, no. That was a dream. I'm sorry. I guess I was dreaming."

Chandler shook his head and directed his gaze to the road ahead. "So, do you know what bars we should try and go to tonight?"

Ross suddenly remembers the fake IDs they had procured before this trip. "Uh, actually. I was thinking we stay back at my parents' house tonight. I really want to introduce you to my sister."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I actually uh, think you guys might have a lot in common. Um, she is a little over weight but…"

"Oh man., I don't want to hang out with your fat sister all night."

Ross snapped back at him instinctively. "Hey!" He then tried to calm himself down. "No, seriously. Just spend some time with her. I really think you guys might like each other." Ross started to wrack his brain to come up with something to entice Chandler to entertain the idea of getting to know Monica. "And, uh, well, you know how last year you touched your first boob?"

Chandler angrily glanced at Ross and then returned his gaze to the road. "Oh man. Don't tell anyone about that. You promised."

Ross shook a bit, and felt nauseous at the idea of what he was about to suggest. "Well, I'm pretty sure if you and my sister get along, you might get more than just one boob." Ross felt gross, but he knew he needed this to work."

Chandler huffed out and exhaled loudly. "Okay, fine. But I am going to need a lot to drink so you better raid your dad's liquor cabinet."

Ross walked over to Chandler who was washing a dish and grabbed a towel to dry it with. "So, what do you think?"

Chandler nodded begrudgingly. "You were right. Once you get past, well, you know, you realize that she is so much fun. And interesting. Did you know she wanted to be a chef? Isn't that cool. Oh, and she has the best eyes. You know. I think she likes me too."

Ross smirked, he started to think that his might actually work. "Yeah? Me too. I think it could be something special. You and her."

Chandler nodded and smiled. "Yeah. You know, she laughs at all my jokes. Even the bad ones."

Ross slapped him on the back in a congratulatory manner. "That's great. You know what I was thinking. I could pretend to be sick, or tired, and go to my old room to lie down and then the two of you can hang out and talk all night without me getting in the way."

"Really? You would do that?"

"Sure. Anything for love."

Chandler flashed a bashful smile, but tensed up and shot a look over to Ross. "What about Rachel? I thought you wanted to try and talk to her."

Ross nodded. "Oh, I have a feeling that will work out some other time."

* * *

Ross' eyes slowly opened up as he let the light from the window dance on his face. He looked around the room., Back in his apartment. He quickly scanned the wall and found Ben's photo, but, this time, there was no picture of Emma next to it. He thought to himself that maybe she was still a baby and he would find her photo on the dresser where he had kept it.

Before he could look over, a hand dropped down on his chest from the woman who was laying down next to him in his bed. He smiled and took her arm in his hands. He raised it up to his mouth and began to softly kiss along her wrist. He smiled as he heard soft thankful moans coming from under the covers next to him.

"Good morning. I love you so much Rachel, do you know that?"

Suddenly the arm was pulled away roughly from his grasp and his eyes opened wide as a very familiar, shrill, Queens accent bellowed from the woman next to him. It couldn't be. How would it even be possible? How could he be lying next to…

"Oh! My! God! Who is Rachel?"

* * *

A/N - I think you all know who that is. It promises that the next chapter will be much more humorous. Let me know if the Monica flashback in italics is hard to read and I can switch it back. Hopefully, how events played out in this chapter made sense to you when you think about the canon events that would be changed with Ross and Rachel together. If you have any questions about choices I made, feel free to ask. Thanks.


	3. Ross Hates Everything

**Ross Hates Everything**

Ross frantically begins to take the stairs up to apartment twenty, two at a time, racing his way to the fifth floor of what he hopes is still his sister's building. He desperately needs to see what else he may have changed with his latest attempt to fix everything. The moment he woke up next to Janice, he knew he must have screwed up the timeline just as badly as before. He couldn't even comprehend how he could have ended up with her in his bed. For a moment, he thought maybe it was just one night of sex, like he had a few years ago when he was at one of his lowest points; but, once he saw the wedding band on his ring finger and heard her call him her husband, he charged out of his apartment to find the others. He just hopes that at least Monica and Chandler are better off this time.

As he reaches the fifth floor he starts to yell, "Chandler! Chandler!" He slams into the door with enough force that he winces a bit from the pain in his shoulder. He pushes it open, but it gets stuck on the chain and he tries to snake his fingers through to try and undo it. "Chandler! Get out here!"

Suddenly he hears his sister's voice from the other side of the door. "Hey Ross, what's up bro?"

"Let me in!"

Monica starts to slap at his fingers as they claw their way through the open space in the door. Ross finally relents and lets her close the door so she can take the chain off, and when she opens it again, and he sees her, his mouth drops.

"Monica? Mon, what happened? You're still…" Ross cuts himself off as he takes a moment to look at his sister. He tries to hold a steady expression, but his eyes go wide as he sees a version of his sister he had not seen since she was in high school. She is fat again. She wears it better now than she did when she was younger, but everything about her is plump. Her cheeks, her hands, her thighs. She looks exactly like his Monica would if she were wearing a prosthetic fat suit.

"Ross, you big doofus! What are you staring at?"

He shakes his head as if to jump start his brain again. Hoping the right words will start to fall out of his mouth. He walks past her, darts his eyes around the apartment, and then looks back at his sister. "Mon, uh, you're well, uh, you look good."

Monica smiles and beams with pride. "Thank you. I told Chandler that I lost four pounds last week, but he said he didn't see it."

"Chandler doesn't live in Tulsa?"

"Tulsa? Like, in Oklahoma? Why would he live there?"

Ross breathes a sigh of relief and tries to compose himself. "I'm sorry. Uh, where does he live? Is he living across the hall?"

Monica screws up her face at her brother in confusion. "What? Why would my husband live at your old apartment?"

"It worked. You guys are married." Ross smiles and wraps his sister up as tightly as he can in his arms.

"Hey Ross, what are you doing here? Looking for breakfast?" Ross smiles as he hears his friends voice coming from behind him. He releases Monica from his desperate embrace and turns around to greet him, but then stops in his tracks and begins to stammer. "Uh, but, uh, Chandler. You're so fat."

Chandler stops and purses his lips, clearly insulted by Ross's outburst. "Hey! I prefer pleasantly plump thank you very much." Chandler makes his way over to Monica and places a small kiss on her cheek. Ross watches in shock as Chandler eases his way down into a chair at the kitchen table.

"Wait. So, you guys are married this time? And you're both fat?"

Monica huffs and points at her brother angrily. "You know Ross, if you came over to insult me and my family, why don't you just go back home. Whatever you're doing, it is not funny. You don't see us making fun of you because you're still in your pajamas."

Ross closes his eyes, as if to reset himself. "I'm sorry Mon. I just had this terrible dream and I think I am a little confused."

Monica shakes her head. "Look, I have to go wake up Emma. She has school in thirty minutes and she is still not ready! I swear that girl is going to give me a heart attack!" Monica makes her way through the living room and into the other bedroom.

Ross spins around, the startled and confused expression returns to his face. "Emma? My Emma lives here?"

Chandler looks over at Ross, an almost sympathetic expression on his face. "Your Emma? Ross, are you sure you are okay?"

Ross walks over to the kitchen table and sits down. "Uh, yeah….my…niece Emma. That's what I meant to say."

Chandler gets up and fills a glass with water and hands it to Ross. "Wow. You really seem out of it. That dream really messed you up, huh?"

Ross nods. "Yeah. I'm having trouble piecing stuff together. Maybe you can help. Why am I married to your ex-girlfriend Janice?"

"Well, I've been trying to figure out why you married her for a few years now, but, uh, why did you say she was my ex?"

Ross shrugs his shoulder as he takes a sizable gulp of water. "You guys dated on and off for a while."

"Me and Janice? Ross? Are you sure you're okay? I've been married to Monica for almost ten years now."

Ross nearly drops the glass as he tries to place it down on the table. His mouth opens wide in shock. "What?"

"Do you want me to call you a doctor?"

"Uh, no. I'm okay. You know what I would love. Uh, tell me again about how you and Monica, um, got here and maybe it'll help clear my head."

"What?"

"Yeah, just tell me all about it, you know, and it'll give me something to focus on and I'll snap out of this."

"Okay. Well, I guess it all started on Thanksgiving."

* * *

_Monica called Chandler over winter break, intent on getting him to ask her out on a date. She told him how she had so much fun hanging out with him the night of Thanksgiving and that she did not want to wait too long to try and make plans with him again. They had been talking over the phone a few nights a week since they first met, but they had not seen each other in almost a month._

_Chandler was excited to hear she wanted to see him. After his initial reluctance to hang out with Monica when he found out she was overweight, he decided to let Ross persuade him to have an open mind and give it a shot. Monica was undeniably sweet and she had so much energy about everything. He thought it was strange for her to want to show off her color coordinated file folders, but, once they looked through them, he found that they were filled with recipes that she had been collecting over the years. _

_When he made a joke that night that she should be a chef, he had no idea that was what she really wanted to do. She lit up when she talked about schools she wanted to attend and her ultimate goal of becoming a head chef in a trendy Manhattan restaurant. She beamed with happiness at the chance to talk to someone about it. Chandler had to admit, when she smiled and her eyes twinkled in the light, she was absolutely adorable. _

_They talked all night, well into the late hours until she finally fell asleep on the couch. He stretched out as best he could on the recliner and when he woke up, she had already prepared breakfast for him. They promised to keep in touch, exchanged phone numbers and began talking to each other almost every day. They fast became close friends, and shared things with each other that no one else knew. He knew he could trust her, even when she laughed as he told her of his third nipple. She could also trust him, having explained to him how she had not told anyone yet that she was not going to go to a traditional college, a secret he kept even from her brother. _

_The two of them were not entirely sure what they were, but they both knew they wanted more of whatever it was. So, Monica called, and she said that she was going to go into the city and asked if they could see each other. Chandler jumped at the opportunity, and he made Monica's heart flutter a bit when he called it a date. _

_She took the train and he met her at Penn Station. They hugged and Chandler brought her to her to the fanciest restaurant that he could afford. They ate and laughed, and he even found it cute how she would snort when she found something very funny. He marveled at how she would study the menu and watch plates of food as they passed them by, trying to discern every last ingredient. When the date ended, Chandler thought about going in for a goodnight kiss, but he lost the nerve and instead kissed her on the cheek with a promise for a second date. _

_The two of them agreed that they should probably keep their dating a secret. She did not think her father would like the idea of her going out with an older college kid and even though Ross was the one to initially bring up the idea of them getting to know each other, Chandler wasn't sure how he would react to the idea that his best friend was dating his sister. _

_They continued to talk in secret, and they arranged several dates. It was the holiday season, and Monica knew she could pretend to be going into the city to visit her grandmother. Instead, she and Chandler would explore the city, visit Rockefeller Center, window shop at the Christmas displays on fifth avenue, they would have dinner and finish it off with pie and hot chocolate. _

_Chandler invited her to a New Year's Eve party that some of his classmates had arranged before classes had ended. Monica jumped at the chance. She had never gone to a party for New Year's. She would always just watch Dick Clark with Ross and her parents at her house. As a cover story, she told everyone she was going to be hanging out with Rachel and some of her friends, but instead, she took that familiar train ride from Long Island into the city. She had a wonderful time. They danced, even though what Chandler was doing for most of the night would never be considered dancing, and they had a few drinks, and there was plenty to eat. They would just sit on a couch, munching on some pizza, and laughing at each other's jokes. When the countdown to New Year's finally began, Chandler took her hands into his, and at the stroke of midnight, they shared their first kiss. Her first kiss ever. And it was everything she had thought a first kiss could be. _

_Chandler never thought he would fall for someone who looked like Monica. He had always been shallow, and focused his attention on how a girl looks. But, when Ross told him that he should get to know his sister, he thought about his limited success with the opposite sex, and how chasing the aloof, hot girls in his school never amounted to anything other than rejection. If he was lucky enough to get one of them to go out with him, they always seemed less than interested in anything he had to say. _

_Monica was different. She beamed when they were together, and he never felt self-conscious around her. It was as if they could both be who they really were, and for him, it felt like the first time in his life he did not have to put on an act. He never had someone like him in the way Monica liked him. As they continued to date, he began to think that maybe he loved her, and that she loved him. That scared him, because what if he was wrong? He had been wrong so many times before. What if he were to screw up what they were by trying to move their relationship to the next level? Yet, what scared him even more, what if he was right? What if she did love him and he ruined it by just being himself. What if he was not good enough for her? _

_He had to know. So, he hatched a plan. He would try to kiss her at midnight on New Year's Eve. He figured, if she kissed him back, then great. If she reacted poorly, and said something like, "What the hell are you doing?", then he could just blame it on New Year's._

_They held hands, and looked into each other's eyes and they counted down. And when he leaned in to kiss her, she let him. What was even better, she kissed him back, and it was the greatest kiss he had ever had in his limited experience. It felt right, and it felt like he should have tried to kiss her back on Thanksgiving, that they should have been doing this the entire time. However, it didn't matter. They were kissing now, and he knew, he never wanted to kiss anyone else ever again._

_When school picked up again, they continued to date in secret. Monica sneaking out of her house, Chandler slipping past a sleeping Ross. Sharing late night phone calls and using any excuse they could think of so that they could be together. They planned to tell everyone about their relationship after Monica graduated. She had already been accepted to a culinary school in the city and it would be perfect. They would both be going to college in Manhattan, and they would be together. _

_Unfortunately, one night, they got sloppy, and Ross returned home early from his date with Carol and he found Monica in Chandler's bed. At first, she tried to hide under the covers. Then, when Ross noticed the odd shape of his bed, Chandler played it off like she was just a pile of coats. They finally relented and pulled back the blanket to reveal themselves to him. And while Ross was yelling and screaming about how terrible of a friend he was to fool around with his sister, Chandler grabbed her tightly to his side and said it for the first time. "We're not just messing around. I'm in love with her."_

_Monica couldn't believe she had to share this moment with her brother in the room, but she turned and looked at Chandler and told him she loved him as well. And when they kissed, Ross could see it too. His bad mood gone and now he could only gush at the thought of his best friend and his sister being in love._

_Monica graduated, and she stayed with her grandmother in the city. Chandler still lived in the dorms with Ross. While it still felt familiar to them, spending time together in the city, it was very different. Now, they were out of the shadows. They were boyfriend and girlfriend and everyone knew. They would see each other every night. Monica's grandmother was very supportive of their relationship and Chandler would be over all the time for meals or to just hang out. _

_Then, one day, Monica's grandmother moved out, and before she left, she told Chandler he should think about moving into the spare bedroom. She did not like the idea of Monica living in the apartment all alone. When he told Monica, she practically leapt into his arms in excitement. Monica held off telling her parents for a few months, thinking they would not understand or support the idea of their daughter having a live-in boyfriend. The secret only lasted a few months, and it all came out on Thanksgiving of 1990. Her parents, not overly fond of Chandler, had blamed him for some pot that Ross was smoking, and in the flurry of confessions that followed culminated in Ross blurting out their living arrangement. _

_Soon enough, Ross and Carol were married, and after the reception, back at their apartment, Chandler proposed to Monica. He told her, although he knew they weren't ready to get married now, knowing that she wanted to graduate from school first, that they it just felt right that they should be engaged. Monica said yes, and they planned to marry after she finished school. _

_After Monica and Chandler were married, Ross and Carol split up. Ross was able to move across the hall when the apartment became available. Originally, he was going to live there alone, but when money got tight, he finally put an ad out for a roommate and that was when Joey Tribbiani moved in. While Ross pretended to think having a roommate was beneath him, he loved being a part of such a close group of friends who were around all the time. _

_Then, unthinkably, Ross and Carol had one last night together, resulting in her becoming pregnant. Ross was reeling. He was divorced, about to become a father, and had no idea if he would ever find another woman again. He was feeling particularly depressed as Valentine's Day was rapidly approaching and Joey convinced him to go on a blind date. Joey had this girl he was interested in but she had a friend who seemed to be a bit of a mess, but he thought, so was Ross. It made perfect sense to Joey._

_And that was when Ross met Janice, and at first, he could not stand her. The laugh, the complaining, the voice, it was driving him crazy. But then she came on to him, and they slept together. He was lonely and desperate and she was attractive. He broke it off with her the very next night. Thinking it was for the best._

_The universe did not agree. It seemed everywhere Ross went, Janice was there. Supermarkets, restaurants, parties. It did not matter. He would hear her exclaim, "Oh! My! God!" from somewhere in the room and turn to face her. They would share a few verbal jabs, but, inevitably, they would hook up, get back together, and break up. A vicious, self-destructive cycle that only ended when Janice showed up to one of their impromptu rendezvous pregnant._

_A year went by and Ross thought he was finally making some progress. His son was born. His job at the museum was taking off. Joey became one of his best friends and, his sister was pregnant. Monica and Chandler had talked about having children once Ben was born, and when they finally decided to try, they had some complications. Monica's uterus was hostile environment for sperm which was causing them to have fertility issues. They were finally able to conceive using artificial insemination. When their doctor found out Monica had forced Chandler to quit smoking back when they first started dating, he told her that she may have inadvertently improved their chances for success as he began to list all the male infertility issues that smoking can cause._

_Ross was happy. He was going to be an uncle. He was in such a good mood, that when a coworker suggested he try to find a date on the internet, he gave it a try. He even found a woman that he had a lot in common with. She was divorced, had a child, and was just looking for a fresh start. When he offered to meet her at the museum for a date, and he heard those three words again for the first time in almost two years. "Oh! My! God!" he thought someone was playing a cruel trick on him. The strange thing was, it seemed to work this time. Ross and Janice started dating, despite Joey's insistence that she was terrible. _

_Chandler began to gain weight during Monica's pregnancy. He was panicking about becoming a father and took to overeating to compensate for the lack of smoking. By the time Emma was born, Chandler had gained sixty pounds. Then, by the time she turned one, he had gained another twenty pounds. He and Monica did not seem to mind the weight. They were happy, they both loved their jobs, and they had a beautiful little girl._

* * *

"Joey set me up with Janice? Ugh! But what about Rachel!"

"Rachel? Rachel who?"

Ross stands up from his chair and gesticulates. "Rachel Green!"

Monica comes out of her daughter's bedroom and interjects. "Rachel Green? I haven't seen her since high school. Although I did hear she ran out on her wedding a bunch of years ago."

"But didn't we all see on her wedding day? At Central Perk?"

Monica looks at her brother, bemused at his histrionics. "The coffee shop? We don't really go there."

Chandler, grabbing a mini-bagel and munching on it, mumbles through his chewing. "Yeah, there's a diner around the corner that makes the best pancakes. We just get coffee there. We have for years. That other place used to be a bar I think."

The door to the apartment swings open as Joey bounds into the room. "Hey!"

Monica smiles up at him. "Oh good! Maybe Emma will get out of bed for her favorite uncle."

Ross smiles sheepishly. "Oh, well, I guess I'll see what I can do."

Monica looks over at him and scoffs. "I was talking to Joey." She looks over at her husband, concern for her brother plastered on her face and then turns back to Ross. "What is wrong with you?"

Before he can answer, a young, chubby girl, who was maybe eight or nine years old, comes running out of the other bedroom. "Uncle Joey!" she bounds past Ross and quickly wraps Joey up in a tight embrace.

Monica giggles and leans into Ross. "We think she has a bit of a crush."

Ross tries to take stock of everything; no Rachel, Emma is no longer his daughter, he was married to Janice. Could he really stick this one out? Monica and Chandler may be fat now, but they look so happy with their little family. Maybe he could be happy with Janice.

The door swings open again and Janice charges in. "There you are! You got away from me!"

Ross, mimicking her voice, grits sarcasm through his teeth. "But you found me."

"Rossy! Why did you run out like that? What is the matter with you?"

"I had a, uh, really bad dream and I got confused."

"I told you we should have used the hypoallergenic blankets. Your humidifier is not enough on nights like this." She walks over and squeezes his cheeks firmly between her fingers. "We can't have my Glossy Rossy having bad dreams!" Janice trills laughter and kisses him on the lips. She then looks at the table, filled with breakfast foods. "Ooo, Monica. This looks great. Are the pancakes gluten free? We are off the gluten now."

Ross takes one more look around the room. "Nope. Can't do it." He turns and starts to leave. "Uh, I'm just going to go get dressed. I'll see you all later."

* * *

After returning to his apartment and getting dressed, Ross decided he needed to walk around a bit and think more about exactly when he could set Monica and Chandler up and still get to fix his own relationship with Rachel. It had to be after she came back into their lives, but before he slept with Chloe. While he was concentrating on the shared history he had with his friends, he turned down an alley as a shortcut to David's lab, holding an unrealistic expectation that it would still be there, even in this new timeline. He almost had a moment to doubt himself, but was distracted from his thoughts when he heard a gruff, woman's voice call out to him.

"Spare change?"

He turned to look down at the person who spoke, and his mouth went wide in shock. Even with the crust on her lips, the dirty clothes, and the matted down yellow hair, he would recognize Phoebe Buffay anywhere.

"Phoebe?"

She shot up nervously and started to turn away. "I don't know you? Have you been watching me? Are there cameras in the walls?"

"No. Pheebs, it's me. Ross."

She stops and turns around to face him again, studying his face, a slow sign of recognition flashes in her eyes. "Ross?"

Ross could not believe it. Maybe Phoebe really did have some sort of extra sensory perception. Maybe she could see between the timelines. "Yes. Phoebe. It's me. Ross."

She looks up at him once more. "Ross?" Suddenly, in a flurry, her hand swings up, striking him in the head with a pipe. "Never heard of you." As he falls to the ground he can hear her scurry around and feels her hands in his pockets as she takes his wallet and runs off down the alley. The last thing he sees before blackness clouds his vision is her feet, pounding against the pavement as she makes her escape.

* * *

Ross comes to, not sure how long he has been lying there in the alley, unconscious. It was dark out, and cold. He was wet from whatever filthy puddle he had fallen into and laid in while he was unconscious. He gets up and wobbles on his feet, feeling dizzy and nauseous. he is certain he must have a concussion. He reaches his hand up and can feel the dried blood in his hair. He stumbles down the alley and out the other side, slowly lumbering towards the building where David's lab should be.

If Ross had any doubts before about trying to fix the timeline again, seeing what happened to Phoebe was enough to convince him to do it. He hated to see her like that. He hated Janice. He hated that Emma was no longer his daughter. And, most of all, he hated that Rachel Green was not a part of his life.

He uses a rock to break the window again so he can open the door. He easily makes his way to the room where the machine is kept now that he is more familiar with the interior of the building. He leans against the control panel and finds that he is having trouble focusing on the numbers next to the dials for the date and time, but knew he had to pick a date in 1995. He randomly spins the month, day and hour knobs, put on the helmet, and pulls the toggle switch. He passes out almost immediately, and as he succumbs to the darkness, he is not sure if it from his head wound or the electrical surge that courses through his body.

* * *

Ross, starting to become more accustomed to the time travel hangover that normally occurs when he jumps into a new point in his history, only needs a few seconds to collect himself and focus on his surroundings. He quickly recognizes that he is standing in Monica and Rachel's apartment. He looks around quickly to take a quick head count of all his friends and nods to himself as he sees that everyone is there. He starts to closely study everyone, trying to discern exactly where in time he was. His sister's hair was short and Rachel looked like she did when she still worked at the coffee house, which let him know it is the right year. 1995. He realizes that trying to figure out the month and day was going to be a much more difficult task without a calendar or newspaper to check. He spies Chandler talking to Phoebe about something, but he couldn't hear anything, still adjusting his senses to his new surroundings. He finally can hear his sister's voice, who had jumped up from the couch to face Chandler.

"Chandler, I'm unemployed and in desperate need of a project. Do you want to work out? I can remake you."

Ross smiles as he looks down and chuckles to himself. _"Oh, we're going to remake a whole lot more than just Chandler!"_


	4. Ross Loves Everything

**Ross Loves Everything**

While he looks around the room at his friends, Ross tries to figure out exactly where everyone is in their own respective lives at this particular moment in time. He stands there quietly as he watches his sister attempt to convince Chandler that he should work out with her. He is pretty sure this is after she lost her job and before she starts working at the diner. He turns his attention to Rachel and stares at her for a long time. He feels confident that they have not started dating yet, which means that he must still be going out with Julie. He assumes that it is also before he finds out that she likes him. Another potential roadblock that should be removed at this moment in time would be the fact that Monica has not had a chance to get together with Richard yet. He smiles to himself as he notes that getting her to fall in love with Chandler might be even easier this time knowing that she is in one of the rougher patches of her life; no job, no money, no boyfriend. Best of all, there is probably no list yet for Rachel to find and ruin his plans. It seems like perfect timing. He claps his hands together in triumph. "Perfect!"

Everyone turns their heads to face him after his outburst and Ross can only offer them back a sheepish laugh. Phoebe screws up her face and looks around the room, trying to figure out what he was talking about and who he was talking to. "What's perfect?"

"Uh, just that, I like the idea of Monica and Chandler working out. Spending time together. Bonding over physical activity."

Monica and Chandler look over at him and then back at each other, sharing a pair of puzzled expressions. They both shrug their shoulders and resume planning out their first workout.

Ross looks over at Rachel and then back at his sister. A smile begins to form on his lips as he starts to formulate a plan. "Hey, you know what, maybe I'll come run with you guys that first morning. How about you Rach? Want to go for a run?"

Rachel shifts nervously and slips her thumbnail in-between her lips. "Uh, well, I would love that Ross, but, what about Julie. Do you think she will go too?"

"Oh, well, you know, I don't see me and her working out."

"She likes to go to the gym by herself?"

"What? No, no. I mean, I think we are going to break up."

Everyone else in the group turn to focus their attention on Ross and offer up a chorus of gasps and sympathetic onomatopoeiae. Monica approaches him and places her hands on his chest. "Oh no. I thought it was going so well? What happened?"

Ross looks down at her and then back at Rachel. "Well, I think, maybe there is someone else."

Joey tilts his head inquisitively as he looks up. "She's cheating on you?"

Ross shakes his head vigorously. "No. I mean, maybe there is someone else out there for me."

Rachel catches her breath for a moment and then abruptly turns away from Ross and heads for the kitchen as she tries to distract herself with some dirty glasses in the sink. "Really? You, uh, really think that?"

Ross turns to her and smiles. "I really do." He focuses his attention back on the rest of the group. "Anyway, enough of that! So, tomorrow! We should all go for a run!"

Phoebe raises her hands up excitedly. "Okay! I'm gonna go too!"

Ross purses his lips and looks over at her pensively. "Pheebs, this was kind of going to just be our thing." He gestures his hands between Monica, Chandler, Rachel and himself.

"Oh please. You are not going to ditch me this time. I'm running with you tomorrow. Come on Joey, let's go get some running shoes."

Joey looks around the room at everyone and pouts. "Pheebs, I'm not really the running type."

She jabs her finger at him and adopts a demanding tone. "You are running tomorrow Tribbiani! Now let's go." Phoebe walks behind Joey and places her hands on his back, pushing him towards the door. He glares at Ross as they pass him by and leave the apartment.

Ross shakes his head and turns back to face everyone else. "Okay. So, I guess I will see you guys in the morning!" Ross exits the apartment, bouncing on his heels as he whistles a jaunty tune.

* * *

Ross waits outside the front of his sister's apartment building, smiling widely as he jogs in place. The lobby doors open and Chandler is already grumbling while Joey lets out a big yawn. Ross bounces up to them, giddy as a child. "Woah cranky pansts! What's the matter? I think this is going to be a great day for everyone!"

Rachel, Monica and Phoebe follow the boys close behind. Ross can't help but let his eyes fall to Rachel, who is wearing a form fitting pair of spandex pants and a loose sweatshirt. He wants to grab her right there and kiss her, but he realizes he needs to play this one cool if he wants to get everything to work out perfectly this time.

As he jogs over to the girls, Monica looks at him and winces. "Ooo. What happened to your eye?"

He brings his hand up to his swollen, purple bruise of an eye and smiles. "Oh, this? That's nothing. I'm fine! Julie was not as receptive to breaking up as I thought she might be."

"Really? You're okay?"

Ross speaks so loudly his voice almost squeaks. "Absolutely. I am totally fine! I don't know why it is coming out like that because really," He deepens his voice dramatically to counter his excited tone. "I am fine."

Monica inspects his eye and shakes her head. "Oh man, that does not look good. Did you put ice on it?"

"Don't worry about it. By the time I am done here, it won't matter. It'll be ancient history. Who knows, maybe I will even study it one day in the future. You know, because of how far back in time it will be." Ross starts to laugh as Monica offers him a bemused look. Before she can say something else, Ross interjects. "Well, we are all here. Monica, you are in charge. Where are we going?"

Monica claps her hands together and smiles, excited about her new project to get everyone into shape. "Okay! Follow me people! To the park!" She points her finger in the air and starts to jog at a brisk pace.

Joey and Chandler groan and slink back towards the rear of the group. Joey elbows Chandler in the ribs to get his attention. "Well, at least we get a nice view." He gestures with his head at Rachel, Phoebe and Monica, who are all running ahead of them. "Everyone knows I'm an ass man." Chandler laughs and Rachel looks over her shoulder, glaring at them angrily.

Ross slows down a bit to hold himself back so he can run alongside Chandler and Joey. "This is great, huh?"

Chandler huffs out, already wheezing and finding it hard to catch his breath. "What?"

"All of us together. Spending time with your best friends. We should do this more often."

Chandler shoots him an incredulous look. "More often? What have we been doing for the last few years?"

Ross scoffs at him playfully and chuckles. "No, I mean, look. You know how Rachel and I have been this last year or so. Well, I think I want to give it a shot with her and ask her out."

Joey smiles widely. "Oh wow. Is that why you broke it off with Julie?"

"Yeah, I just wonder, if maybe a relationship with a close friend might be more rewarding than with some random girl. Right Chandler?"

Chandler looks over at Ross and shakes his head. "How hard did Julie hit you?"

"No, really, could anything be more magical than two best friends falling in love. I would think about that if I were you." Chandler shrugs his shoulders and Joey nods sagely at Ross. "I mean, look at the girls we are so close to now. They're attractive, and smart and really they are just amazing people. We already have such a good foundation based on friendship. Would taking it to the next level really be that crazy?"

Joey looks over at the three girls running a few paces ahead of them. "You know Ross might be right. We already have this closeness with them."

Chandler rolls his eyes and then snaps his head over towards the side of the street. "Look! A Cab!" He bounds over and slips open the door, and as he is about to jump in, Ross grabs his arm. "Come on. We should keep going. You little scamp you!" Ross laughs as he pokes Chandler in the ribs, causing him to cry out in pain. He glares sternly at Ross, but relents, and steps back out onto the street to reluctantly resumes jogging.

* * *

Ross enters apartment twenty with a skip in his step. He looks around the room and finds that Joey and Phoebe are sharing the big comfy chair while Monica and Chandler were on the couch, bickering about her showing up at his job and making him do push-ups. Ross smiles and jabs his thumb at them. "Wow! Some people have a real 'Sam and Diane' thing going on, huh?" He starts to giggle knowingly.

Everyone in the room looks at him, their brows furrowed in confusion. Before they can question his odd behavior, Rachel walks into the room and Ross quickly closes the gap between them. "Rach? Can we talk?"

Rachel fidgets with her sleeve and nods apprehensively. "Uh, okay."

He leads her out to the balcony, checking over his shoulder again at the group in the living room who are all sitting there sharing dumbfounded glances. Once they step outside, he holds her hands and looks into her eyes. "You know I broke up with Julie, right?"

She nods slowly. "Uh huh."

"Well, I think maybe, I have feelings for you, and I am pretty sure that you have feelings for me, and I think it would be stupid of us not to try and see what this could be." He gestures his hand between the two of them.

Rachel looks up at him wide eyed. "Really?"

"Yeah, it is why I broke up with Julie in the first place. Because she isn't you."

"Oh wow. I, uh, well, yes. I would love that." Ross smiles and leans in to kiss her, but Rachel turns her head slightly and they share an awkward kiss on the corner of each other's mouth. She looks down and giggles, feeling slightly embarrassed.

Ross waves her off. "Oh, we have plenty of time to get that right. We actually get pretty good at it too." He picks up his hands and opens them wide, waving them in front of her. "You certainly learn to love these babies right here."

"What?"

"Oh, uh, I was thinking dinner, Saturday night?"

They slip back inside and smile at the others, still holding hands. Ross looks at her and she nods. "Hey everyone, Rachel and I are going to go out on a date!"

Everyone jumps up and Monica claps her hands. Ross looks at Chandler and nods. "See, friends should date."

* * *

Ross happily skips up the five flights of stairs to Rachel's apartment, giddy with anticipation over their first date. He reaches their floor and just before he grabs the handle to walk in, he stops himself. He looks over at the door to apartment nineteen and hears what sounds like giggling coming from the other side. He smiles proudly to himself. All of his hints to Chandler finally worked. Not only was he about to do everything right this time with Rachel, but his sister and his best friend were embarking on their own journey towards a rewarding relationship. He claps his hands together in triumph. "Ross old boy! You have outdone yourself!" Unable to contain his impulses, he swings the door open and bounces into the room. He tries to play off shock and anger but he is too excited and can only comes off euphoric and jovial. "Hey! What is going on in here? You better not be taking advantage of my sister!" He giggles at his own performance and stomps his feet in an exaggerated manner as he walks into the living room.

Suddenly, his jaw drops as he turns the corner around the kitchen counter and faces the couple that is making all of the amorous noises. He almost falls over in shock as he finds Joey and Phoebe, kissing, and half-dressed as they desperately try to remove the rest of each other's clothing.

"What is going on here?"

Joey and Phoebe jump back in shock. She starts to cover herself up and Joey stands up, causing his pants to fall to the floor and exposing himself to everyone in the room. Ross covers his eyes and Phoebe gives him a quick once over as she waggles her eyebrows at him and laughs. "Wow. Mother may I!"

Joey cups himself with his hands and smiles bashfully. "I'm doing what you said. All that talk about friends should hook up. So, I thought to myself, who are my friends. Monica and Phoebe. Well, I saw Phoebe first, and you were right! This is so great!"

Phoebe covers her mouth as she laughs. "It is great!"

Ross spins around, averting his eyes as they kiss again. "Oh man! I don't want to see that!"

Joey then puts his hands together and starts to plead with Ross. "Please. You cannot tell anyone. No one knows."

Ross turns to look at Phoebe and she nods at him in agreement. "Please. We just don't want to deal with telling everyone. Okay? Just promise you won't tell."

Ross holds a serious expression for a moment as he thinks about the consequences of allowing Joey and Phoebe to explore a relationship with each other. He finally shrugs his shoulders and turns around to walk out of the apartment. "Ah, what harm can that do." Joey and Phoebe smile at each other, and before Ross can get out the door, they have already resumed their embrace as they fall back down on the couch.

Ross steps across the hall and walks into apartment twenty. He freezes in his tracks as he finds Rachel there, already slipping on her shoes. She is wearing a form fitting dress that hugs her every curve. His eyes go wide as his throat becomes dry. "Wow! You look amazing!"

Rachel smiles back at him. "Thanks you. So, where are you taking me tonight?"

"Oh, it is a surprise."

"Ooo, I like surprises. You seem to be full of them this week." He leans in and they share a quick kiss on the lips. Rachel grabs her purse as they leave the apartment. She links her arm through his as they make their way down the stairs and out onto the street, both sharing smiles and adoring glances.

As he steps out onto the curb to flag down a cab, Ross looks across the street and finds Monica and Chandler jogging, both appearing miserable. He looks over his shoulder at Rachel and gestures at them. "Hey, they're still at it huh?"

"Yeah, Monica has been relentless with him. I am pretty sure that they might kill each other."

Ross laughs nervously and looks back at his sister and his best friend. "I don't know. I bet it works out for them." He watches them for a few moments and they stop in front of Central Perk. They begin to argue and to slap at each other until Monica shoves Chandler hard enough to knock him down to the ground. He gets up angrily and she turns to run away. Ross twists his face up in horror at their actions. "Hey! No! That isn't supposed to happen. They're supposed to fall in love."

Rachel wrinkles her brow in confusion. "What?"

Ross starts to jog across the street to cut them off. "Oh, I'll explain later." He jumps in front of Monica and grabs her arm, stopping her from running as Chandler finally catches up. "What is going on here?"

Chandler puts his hands on his knees as he bends over and gasps for air. "Ask little Miss Mussolini over here. She is mad with power I tell you! Mad!"

Monica makes a face at Chandler and jabs her finger in his chest. "What? Maybe if you weren't so lazy you would appreciate the benefits of what I am doing for you!"

"For me? The only reason I am doing this at all is because I feel sorry for you."

"What?"

Chandler stands up straight and puffs his chest out. "I mean, you can't find a job, you can't tell your parents because of how disappointed they would be, and you have no boyfriend's shoulder to cry on. I'm all you got!"

"What!"

"I don't even know how you get out of bed in the morning."

Monica fumes as she slaps Chandler across the face and jogs off.

Ross, unable to get her to come back spins around to look at his friend. "Chandler! What are you doing?"

Chandler huffs and pushes past Ross. "What? Oh, she'll be fine."

"I don't understand. Why isn't this working out? I picked the perfect time."

Chandler shakes his head. "Uh, we were working out. I hate working out."

"No you idiot, I mean you and her. Best friends. You're supposed to have sex."

"What?"

"You two have to have sex so you don't get cancer and she doesn't die an old spinster cook!"

Chandler puts his hands on his hips as his eyes narrow while he studies his friends face. "Ross, you want me to have sex with your sister? That is kind of creepy."

Ross storms back across the street. "Ugh. Come one Rachel. We still need to go on our date. I'll figure this out later."

Rachel shakes her head and looks across the street back at Chandler as Ross grabs her by the hand and leads her in the opposite direction.

* * *

Rachel studies Ross's face from across the small table. The flickering of the candle dancing shadows across his worried face as he plays with his food. "Ross, what is going on with you?"

He pushes his wine glass forward and shakes his head. "I don't know. I mean, at first I thought this was perfect timing. We hadn't started going out yet, and I never wrote the letter, and we weren't on a break."

"What?"

"But now Monica is sad again. She should have slept with Chandler by now, but instead, somehow, Joey and Phoebe are sleeping together."

Rachel crinkles her brow as her eyes squint. "What? Joey and Phoebe?"

Ross puts his finger up to her. "Rach, shh. I'm trying to think."

Rachel begins to stand up as an offended look washes over her face. "Uh, well you better be thinking of a way to stop me from walking out on you right now."

Ross looks up at her and begins to stammer. "What? Oh, I'm sorry. You're right. I forgot how easily insulted you can be at this age. Maybe my memory is fuzzy and I am mixing things up. Tell me, are you wearing underwear right now or are you going commando?"

Rachel leans over, slaps Ross, and then throws the rest of his wine in his face." How's that for being insulted you jerk!" She grabs her purse and storms out of the restaurant. Leaving Ross there alone with his thoughts.

He grabs a napkin and wipes his face. "I probably deserved that. I don't understand. This was perfect. Why didn't it work this time? Wait, they got together at my wedding. That was after Chandler went out with Kathy and Monica went out with Richard. I bet they need to go through those break-ups. If I go back and make sure Rachel and I get married, and then get them together at our wedding, everything should work out. I just have to stop Rachel from setting Monica up with Joshua this time! I can go back to that first timeline and fix everything there!"

Ross leaps up from his seat and races out of the restaurant despite the loud protests from the waiter, shouting at him that he still has to pay his bill. He jogs down the street until he can hail a cab, directing the driver to take him to that abandoned building where David's machine should be.

* * *

Ross stares at the dials on the side of the machine. He lets his fingers play along his lips as he tries to remember a perfect date to jump to where he can fix everything. "Okay. So, I have to get there before Joshua and after Kathy. Think Ross, think!" He looks around the room absentmindedly until his eyes light up with discovery and he snaps his fingers. "Oh Glossy Rossy you genius. I just have to go to the day when they bet the apartment! That's perfect!" He spins the dial to January 29, 1998. "All I have to do is go there, get Rachel to set up Phoebe instead of Monica, get Monica drunk and depressed at the wedding and then get her and Chandler to have sex." He stops his motions for a moment and holds his stomach as if he were becoming nauseous. "Ugh. Time travel is making me a pervert!" He puts the helmet on and pulls on the toggle switch; electric currents flow through his body and he passes out.

* * *

Ross's eyes open and he finds himself standing in the middle of Rachel and Monica's apartment. Everything sounds like vibrating hums and his vision is blurry. He slaps himself in the face, hoping it will bring the world back into focus. He snaps his fingers around his ears until he can finally make out Rachel's voice as she speaks to Monica. "…anyway, he is this really good looking guy and I think maybe you should let me give him your number…"

Ross shoots up from the couch. "No! I'm too late…wait a minute." He looks around at the girl's apartment. No Barcaloungers, no foosball table, no chick or duck. "What is going on? Didn't you guys lose the apartment?"

"What?"

"In the bet, didn't you guys bet the apartment? Rachel, didn't you get mad about the chick turning into a rooster?"

Rachel laughs smugly as she looks at Monica. "Well, that is hardly my problem honey, I'm moving into your place at the end of the week. Monica is the one who has to deal with all that."

Ross looks around the room again. "But I thought we played that competition. You know, with all the questions."

Monica huffs and raises an aggravated eyebrow. "Yeah, and we lost."

He nods back at her. "Right, so why are you still here? Didn't you bet the apartment?"

"Uh, no. Why would we do that? We lost $100 to Joey and Chandler. Are you feeling okay?"

Ross shakes his head. "Uh, yeah, I guess I just had a dream last night that felt so real."

Rachel shrugs her shoulders and turns back to Monica. "Oh, well anyway, you really should meet this guy."

"Oh, All right. I guess I can go on one date."

Ross grabs his sister by the arm and interrupts her, pulling her to face him. "No! You can't!"

Rachel scoffs as she looks at him. "Why not? She's single, he is single, and he has money." She looks back at Monica and waggles her eyebrows.

"No! What about Phoebe? Shouldn't we try to hook him up with Phoebe? I bet she is more his type. We should really think about Phoebe."

Just then, the door to the apartment opens and from behind, he can hear footsteps. "Think about me for what?"

Ross smiles, beaming with happiness that his plan seems to be coming together. "Rachel has this guy she wants to set you up with."

Phoebe shakes her head and looks over at Ross skeptically. "Oh, uh, thanks but no thanks."

"What? Why?"

"Well, I think my husband might have a problem with that."

"Your what?" Ross spins around to face her and his mouth opens wide as his jaw almost crashes down onto the floor as he sees David stroll in confidently behind her.

David smiles at him smugly as he puts his coat on the back of a chair in the kitchen. "Why her husband Ross. You remember me, right?"

* * *

A/N - I am adding a note since I received a few PMs questioning what exactly happened at the end of this chapter.

Ross goes back to season 2 with the intent to get Monica and Chandler together while also beginning his relationship with Rachel on the right foot. He screws it up due to his hubris. I call this chapter's Ross my "Unagi-Ross". A bit cocky, kind of a know-it-all, and a little insufferable. His overconfidence that he knows exactly what to do is what brings everything crashing down around him.

At the end, he realizes that the only way Monica and Chandler will get together successfully is if they hook up at his wedding at the end of season 4. So he goes back to the "sad" timeline he created in chapter 2, the one where he never sleeps with Chloe and Rachel sets up Monica with Joshua. His plan is to jump to right before his wedding and stop Rachel from getting Monica together with Joshua so he can get her and Chandler together instead, but much to his surprise, something, or someone changed an event, because David showed up married to Phoebe which did not happen last time. (That will all be explained in the next chapter).


	5. Ross Regrets Everything

**Ross Regrets Everything**

Ross studied David intently while he was making himself comfortable on the couch in Monica and Rachel's apartment. To Ross's eyes, David was like a wart on the end of that couch, a blight that did not belong there. Yet, as he observed the rest of his friends, they were all acting as though David had been a part of the group for years. It was hard to believe that just the other day, in their original timeline, he and Ross could barely remember each other's names. It was obvious to Ross that David had been using the time machine to fix his own past mistakes with Phoebe. He must have figured out a way to alter the timeline and end up married to her. Ross became increasingly concerned that David might have caused some unforeseen complications with his own plans to ensure that he ended up with Rachel and his sister ended up with Chandler.

"Uh, hey. David. Buddy. Can I talk to you for a minute?"

Rachel turned to look at Ross. "What do you need to talk to David about?"

Ross grabbed David by the arm and lifted him from the couch. "Oh, uh, well, I wanted to ask him about the tachyons that were found in the Mesozoic Era."

A chorus of groans filled the room as Rachel and Monica rolled their eyes. "Ugh. Never mind. I'm sorry I asked."

Ross led David out of the living room and over towards the back of the apartment. "Come on David. I'm really interested in your thoughts."

David looked back at Phoebe and laughed nervously. "Oh, uh, well, all right. I guess if it is just for a minute."

"Oh, I'm sure you have more than a minute to spare. Some might say you have all the time in the world!" The two men awkwardly made their way out the window and onto the balcony. Ross finally released David's arm and shoved him back as he buried an accusatory finger into his chest. "What are you doing here?"

David tried to step back. "What do you mean?"

"You were never married to Phoebe! You're messing with time!"

David straightened up and jabbed his own finger into Ross' chest, matching his intensity. "How would you know I'm messing with time unless you were already messing with time yourself?"

The two men stood there for a moment, glaring at each other angrily until they looked down at each other's fingers that were poking one another with. They stopped and backed away from each other. Both men winced as they rubbed their chests. Ross composed himself and resumed his outraged demeanor. He pointed at David once again. "You can't do this. It messes with time!"

David scoffed. "You're doing it."

Ross shrugged his shoulder and emphatically flailed his arms around. "Well, what do I know about quantum physics? I'm just a paleontologist." Ross gestured towards the inside of the apartment. "Look. You see my sister in there. Well, every time I go back and try to make things better for myself, I end up ruining her life."

David nodded and looked down. "Oh. So, you're trying to figure out how to get what you want and not do that I guess."

"Yeah. She is supposed to marry Chandler, but the only timeline I could get them together in, well, other really bad things happen. I'm trying to get this just right so everyone has a happy ending and now you're here and you are ruining everything!"

David looked at Ross with a puzzled expression on his face. "Your sister gets together with Chandler?"

Ross nodded emphatically. "Yeah, why?"

David looked back inside and studied the people in the room. "Well, he just has this kind of quality about him. Besides, he doesn't look like boyfriend material to me. I mean, I guess maybe if he was the last man on earth and he had canned goods. But otherwise, yikes!"

Ross rolled his eyes and slumped down on the ledge of the balcony wall. "Oh, what? Like we're any better? We've been manipulating time to get girlfriends. We're might as well be slipping everyone a mickey."

"Well, sure, but you know, we're scientists Ross. Manipulating time is the only way we can get girlfriends. Do you know how hard it is to find someone who will have sex with you in Minsk? When you smell like you've spent thirty days in an underground lab?"

Ross shook his head and stood up. "Look. Just give me until Saturday night. I know if I can get them on a date, then I can fix this. And, look, if I can get them together in this timeline, then we both get what we want and my sister and my best friend end up getting together and everyone is happy."

David rubbed his chin and looked out at the city. He finally turned back to Ross and nodded reluctantly. "Okay. I won't do anything drastic until Saturday night. That gives you three days."

"Good. Thanks David." Ross turned his attention back to the inside of the apartment and saw Monica reaching for the phone. "Oh no! Rachel already gave her Joshua's phone number! I'm too late!" He leapt past David and jumped through the window, head first, back into the apartment, crashing onto the floor and into the wall as he tumbled down to the ground. He jumped back up quickly and lost his balance once more as he darted through the room and dove over the couch. He slapped the phone from his sister's hands, earning him an angry glare as he laughed triumphantly.

Ross glanced over at her as he smugly picked up the receiver. "Hey. Listen you jerk. My sister never wants to talk to you again! So, why don't you just take a hike, you filthy pig!" Ross's face went white as sweat started to bead along his forehead. "Oh, uh, hi mom. No. I thought you were someone else. So, how's dad."

* * *

Ross and Rachel stood in her bedroom on opposite sides as they both prepared to change their clothes. Rachel started to remove her jewelry and turned to Ross, still confounded at his behavior earlier this evening. "What the hell was that all about today?"

Ross looked up at the ceiling as he tried to loosen his tie. "Well, uh, I have someone for Monica already. Someone she will love and I don't need you to ruin it with stupid Joshua."

Rachel stopped moving and tilted her head inquisitively at Ross. "Uh, how did you know that was his name?"

Ross started to chuckle nervously. "You must have said something earlier when you were talking about him."

"No. I never told her his name."

"You must have said it at some point. How else would I have known? It's not like I am from the future or anything." Ross started to over-laugh at his joke until he trailed off, leaving an uncomfortable silence hanging over the two of them.

Rachel shook her head and returned to the task of undressing. "Why can't she go out with both guys and choose for herself which one she likes best?"

"Because my guy is better than your guy. Plus, he would want to get married one day. Meanwhile, your guy is all messed up from his divorce. Monica and Joshua just want different things."

Rachel stopped again and turned around, this time, angrier and more apprehensive at Ross than curious. "Okay. Now this is getting creepy. Are you spying on me at work or something?" She walked over to him and gestured with her hands for him to stand still and pay attention. "Ross, please tell me this isn't going to be like all of that Mark stuff from last year. Look. I get it. I am a personal shopper now. Some of my clients are attractive young men."

"Wait. How many of them are attractive young men?"

"Ross! That's not the point! I am not interested in any of them. Last I checked, I was marrying you." She held up her hand, displaying the engagement ring he had given her.

Ross relented, looked down and shook his head. "I know, I know. I'm sorry. What was I thinking? Of course I have nothing to worry about."

Rachel smiled and patted him on the chest. "Okay. Because I thought we both agreed that your jealousy is really bad for our relationship."

"Oh, uh, we agreed to that?"

"Yes. I specifically remember that night you came running back into the apartment, we went back to my room, and I said, 'does it make sense that your jealousy is what is causing all our problems?' and you said 'it does'."

"I did?"

"Yeah. You agreed that your jealousy almost broke us up."

"Ah ha! So, it wasn't a break; it was a break up!" Ross waggled his finger smugly at her.

"What?"

"What? Oh, uh, Nothing. Um. So, uh, what is left for the wedding plans?"

* * *

Monica finished scrubbing the top of the kitchen counter and turned to face Ross, excited anticipation danced across her eyes. "So who is this guy Ross? What can you tell me about him?"

Ross knew he had to be careful. His sister has a keen mind and would no doubt recognize any familiar name he might be tempted to throw out at her as a cover. "Huh, well, uh, he is funny. And smart. And I think you will like him. I hear women say that he can be very sweet."

"Oh, I like that. Okay. Well, where is he meeting me?"

Ross looked around the room nervously and let out a chuckle. "Oh, uh. I don't know yet. Actually, I need to step out for a minute. I'll be right back."

Ross smiled sheepishly and backed out of the apartment. He quickly stepped across the hall and walked into apartment nineteen. He darted his eyes around and found Chandler alone, seated in his Barcalounger and watching television. "Chandler. I have a blind date for you."

Chandler spun around in his chair and rolled his eyes. "Oh, great. Who is she and what is wrong with her?"

"What? There is nothing wrong with her. She is really fun and sweet and I know you will like how she looks."

Chandler stood up and approached the kitchen counter. "Ugh, I hate when people set me up. Whenever someone tries to push a girl onto you, it normally means that they have already deemed her not good enough for them."

Ross screwed up his face. "What? Chandler, it isn't like that. I would never go out with this girl. I could never go out with this girl."

"Why not?"

Ross started stammering and paced back to the door. "Oh, uh, well, because she is my cousin. Yes, my cousin Cassie. She is in town for a few days and I wanted someone to show her a good time. Someone I could trust. You have to take her somewhere really nice though."

Chandler shrugged his shoulders and nodded. "Okay. Sure. Why not. I'm not exactly in the position to reject dates anyway."

Ross smiled gleefully and clapped his hands together. "Great! So, do you know where you will take her? I have a feeling that you could make a really good impression with the right restaurant."

"Yeah? Well, I do have an in at Jean Georges through my boss. I can probably get us a reservation there."

"Perfect!" Ross nodded back at Chandler, turned around, and abruptly left his apartment. He skipped across the hall and opened the door to apartment twenty.

Monica looked up at her brother and he smiled. "Jean Georges. He is taking you to Jean Georges."

"Ooo. That is really exclusive. This guy must have some pull. Well, what does he look like?"

"Well uh if I told you what he looked like, then that would ruin the 'blind' part of a blind date. Then it would just be a regular date. What's the fun in that?"

Monica pursed her lips and gave Ross a skeptical look. "I guess. What time am I meeting him there?"

Ross held up a finger, gesturing for her to give him a minute. "Let me find out, and I'll get back to you."

Before Monica could interject, Ross left her apartment and scurried back across the hallway. He opened Chandler's door and stepped inside. "What time should she meet you?"

Chandler looked over at Ross, a bemused expression on his face. "Well, I don't know. I haven't made the reservation yet. You just told me about this five minutes ago."

Ross tapped his foot and began to gesture nervously. "Well, why not make t now? You could call right now and make it and then I can tell M…cousin Cassie all about it."

"I guess. Maybe at least you will stop acting so creepy." Ross waited and listened to Chandler attempt to cajole and plead with the person on the other line. He finally hung up and slowly turned his eyes up to Ross. "Okay. All set. Nine, Friday night."

"You won't regret this buddy!" Ross bounced out the door and back over to his sister's apartment. "Nine. Dinner will be at nine." He smiled and exuded confidence, certain that his machinations were working.

Monica, sensing her brother's triumphant demeanor shook her head. "Okay. Just don't get your hopes too high. If he is a friend of yours, chances are he isn't all that great. I remember that time you set me up with that botanist."

Ross smiled and nodded. "What are you going to wear?"

"Ross, I don't know. The date isn't until two days from now."

Ross grabbed his sister by the wrist and started to drag her over towards her bedroom. "Why procrastinate? What if you wait until Friday, and then you're late because you don't have an outfit picked out." They entered her bedroom and Ross began to slide the clothes in her closet around as he searched for something for her to wear. "This one looks nice." He pulls out a red, thin-strapped dress and plops it down on the bed.

"I should be mad that you're going through my things, but I think it is sweet how invested you are in this. You must really want this to work out."

"Well, yeah. I mean, you're my little sister and I'm supposed to look out for you and make sure that the guy you end up with makes you happy. And I really think this guy has a shot to do that."

Monica smiled sweetly at her brother and looked over at the dress he picked out. "Okay, red it is."

"Great!" Ross turned and ran from her room, racing across her living room and kitchen, and exited through the door. He flew across the hall and charged into Chandler and Joey's apartment.

"Chandler. Did you pick out a suit for Friday?"

"A suit?"

"Yeah, you said it yourself. Jean Georges. We just have to make sure…" Ross cut himself off, and walked past Chandler towards his bedroom. Chandler could hear the sound of hangers roughly sliding back and forth across the rod in his closet and he could tell that Ross was not going to stop until he finished whatever it was that he was doing in there.

Ross emerged from Chandler bedroom, holding three red ties. He walked over towards Chandler and began to hold the ties up against his chest, hoping to find something that would match the color of Monica's dress. "This one. You have to wear this one. And maybe a dark blue suit."

Chandler frowned a bit and grabbed one of the other ties. "But I like this one. It's my lucky tie."

"Yeah, but this one will match what she will be wearing." Chandler flashed a confused look, but before he could question Ross, he was already walking out the door. "Okay! Friday night! Good luck!"

* * *

Ross walked into Monica's apartment and looked around. When he found no one there, he decided to call out and see if his sister was dressed for her date with Chandler. "Monica? Are you almost ready?"

Monica came out of her bedroom and shot her brother a questioning look. "What are you doing here?"

"Just wanted to wish you luck on your big date."

"Okay. Ross, you are kind of freaking me out now. Is there something wrong with this guy? Does he have a hook or something?"

"No. No. I'm just excited to watch you go on your journey into the future." Monica wrinkled her brow and raised her eyebrows suspiciously at Ross but then shook her head and grabbed her purse from the kitchen table. "Okay, well, if there isn't anything else, I should get going."

Ross watched as she left the apartment and pumped his fist. He was shaken from his celebration when, through the door, he could hear his sister's muffled voice. He pressed his ear against the door to try and hear what she was saying.

"Hey Chandler. Look at you. I guess you have a date tonight too, huh?"

"Yeah, Ross set me up."

"That's so funny. He set me up too. Was he all weird with you about it?"

"Yeah. He even picked out my suit for me."

Ross listened closely and could hear the two of them start their descent down the stairs. He decided to take a beer from the refrigerator as his reward for successfully getting them together. He twisted off the cap and leaned against the kitchen counter. Just before he put the bottle to his lips, he laughed and raised it up as if he were about to give a toast. "Ross old boy, you've done it again."

Suddenly, the door to the apartment burst open wildly as Monica and Chandler stormed into the room. Monica jabbed an admonishing finger at her brother. "Ross! You set me up with Chandler?"

Chandler, close behind her scoffed and nodded in agreement. "Yeah! I can't believe you set me up with Monica!"

Monica turned and focused her ire on Chandler. "What is wrong with being set up with me?"

Chandler slumped down into his shoulders and winced. "Uh, nothing. It makes more sense that you're mad at him. You go ahead."

Monica narrowed her eyes at him and then returned her attention to her brother. Ross gestured with his hands for her to calm down. "Look, guys. Lately, I've been thinking that maybe there is something there between the two of you."

Both Monica and Chandler stare at him incredulously and, almost in unison shout back at him. "What?"

"Think about it. You both have been really close all these years. Chandler, you just got over the whole Kathy thing." He then pointed at his sister. "You, well, after Pete you haven't been able to find a good guy anywhere. You know that Chandler is a good guy." He then turned to face his best friend. "Chandler, you know Monica is great."

"Well, sure. I mean she's terrific, but…"

"Really? You think I'm terrific?"

"Yeah, of course you are. You're amazing, and smart, and beautiful. I mean, who wouldn't want you?"

Ross cautiously smiled at the two of them. "See. I think you two should give it a shot. What do you have to lose?"

Monica looked over Chandler one more time. "What the hell. If anything, at least we will have dinner with someone we like spending time with, right?"

Chandler smiled back at her. "I guess so. It isn't like this is the first time we had dinner together alone. How weird could it be?"

Monica pursed her lips, looked back-and-forth between Ross and Chandler, and then shrugged her shoulders. "Okay! Let's do it."

* * *

Ross turned his head as he heard the door to the apartment open. Monica looked at him and shook her head as she laughed under her breath. "What are you still doing here?"

"I just wanted to see how it went!"

"Well, if you must know, we had a really good time, but we both agreed that we should just stay friends."

"What? Why?"

"There's a part of me that sees what you were talking about, and it didn't feel as weird as we thought it would, but it also never felt like a real date. We already know so much about each other. There's this rush you get when you meet someone for the first time, and you're attracted to them and we didn't have that."

Ross stood up from the couch and shook his head. "Did you guys have sex?"

"Ross!"

"I don't get it. We're at the right time for this to happen. What am I missing?"

"Ross? What are you talking about?"

"You know what; you were drunk. You two won't see it unless you have that impulsive drunken hook-up." Ross started to look around the apartment. "That will never happen here. This is all too familiar. All of this would stand in the way."

"A drunken hook-up? Ross…are you feeling all right?"

"No. I don't feel all right. I know what I have to do and I feel terrible about it. I have to get married in London. You two need London for this to work. Rachel will never agree to that. We have to break up. I have to marry Emily. It's the only way."

Before Monica could raise an objection, Ross lumbered past her and walked to the front door. He turned to look at her one more time before he left and offered her a faint smile. "Don't worry Mon. I'm going to fix everything. You don't deserve to be punished because of me. I had my chance, and I could never forgive myself if I cost you yours."

* * *

Ross walked slowly towards the building where David's machine was kept. His mind replayed all the mistakes he has made in his life. Every bad decision that has led him to this moment. He somberly shook his head as he finally came to terms with the fact that he will have to live with the consequences of his actions. Rachel, Mark, Chloe, Emily. They all swirled around his brain as he approached the front door to the nondescript warehouse he has become acquainted with in what he assumed has been at least a few days. He stopped in his tracks just as he was about to enter the building when he noticed that he door was wide open. The window broken and shards of glass scattered along the ground.

He quickened his pace and stepped into the room where the machine lay dormant. He spied David, who had begun to pull wires out from the back of the console.

"David! What are you doing?"

David looked over his shoulder and stood up to face Ross. "I can't have you mess up my one shot with Phoebe. Do you know how many times I tried to get us together? This is the only timeline that worked. If you go messing around with time again, then I'll lose her. This is my only chance. Ross, don't be stupid. You know it is your only chance too."

"You don't know that for sure. Even if it was, you have to realize that you had your chance with Phoebe. I had my chance with Rachel. We blew it. Now this is Chandler and Monica's chance and I am not going to blow it because they are meant for each other." Ross gestured angrily around the room and at the time machine. "And all this, is just one stupid mistake. Don't you see? We have to fix everything. We have to stop being selfish."

David looked down pensively and shook his head. "Good luck fixing everything after I do this." David yanked a few more wires from the machine, causing sparks to fly. An electric current started to buzz throughout the machine. Ross covered his head and ducked down as David grabbed the helmet. He started to roughly pull on it, trying to rip it from the console, but as soon as his hands grasped the metal casing of the headgear, an electric bolt flew from the machine and split in two, instantly striking the two of them, and knocking them both unconscious. Their lifeless bodies flopped to the ground, and then without warning, the both faded from the room. Disappearing as if they were never there at all.


	6. Ross Sees Everything

**Ross Sees Everything**

Ross's eyes open and he rubs his head gently, trying to figure out where he is. He winces as his scalp feels sore to the touch, almost like he has a sunburn on the top of his head. His skin is warm and itchy and he can't help but scratch himself. Before he can pull the world into focus, he hears a horn honk, blaring at him incessantly and he instinctively covers his head and ducks as a cab races past him, narrowly missing him in the process. Realizing he is standing in the middle of the street; he rushes over to the sidewalk and leans up against a lamppost to catch his breath. He shakes his head and looks up, but before he can read the street sign, someone rushes past him, hitting him in the shoulder and causing him to spin around. He almost falls over but regains his balance as he hears a familiar voice shout, "Sorry!" He looks up and sees a woman, running down the block in a long, white dress.

"It can't be." Ross jogs behind her and watches as she darts into a store on the corner. He stops short of walking in behind her and looks at the signage on the picture window. He has to blink his eyes to make sure he is not dreaming. Central Perk. He cups his hands and looks inside the window, and what he sees causes his jaw to drops. His knees feel weak and shaky as he becomes light-headed from the scene unfolding before him inside the coffee house. His sister Monica is talking to Rachel, and Rachel is wearing a wedding dress. She is wearing the wedding dress. The one she wore when she ran out on her own wedding all those years ago.

"It can't be. I was inside when this happened." As if on cue Ross stumbles back in horror as he sees a younger version of himself stand up inside the building and awkwardly reach out to shake her hand, only to have the umbrella he is holding open up suddenly in-between. Ross remembers this moment clearly. _"But, if I am in there? Then how can I be out here?" _

He steps back from the building and is able to see his own reflection in the windowpane. He begins to slowly run his hand over his face. The person staring back at him was not the twenty-six-year-old version of himself that was here on this day. Instead, he looked more like the person he was when he first found the time machine. "What the hell is going on?" Before Ross can finish his thought, a flash of light snaps before his eyes and the world goes dark again.

* * *

Ross opens his eyes, but the darkness does not go away. Wherever he is now, it is pitch black. He can see nothing, not even a shadow. He crouches down to the ground and reaches his hand out in front of him to grasp for something to lean on while he tries to take in and process his new surroundings. He finally finds something warm and sturdy with his hand. He grabs it and leans his full body weight against it. "Where am I?"

"Scusa."

"What?" Ross does not want to admit it to himself, but he recognizes the voice almost immediately.

"Ehm, uh. Scusami, ma la tua mano è sulle mie chiappe."

Ross squeezes his hand and feels that he is indeed holding onto the firm but supple buttocks of Paolo for support. "What the hell!" He backs away from Paolo, still down on the ground, and leans against the nearest wall. "This must be the blackout. Paolo? Is that you?"

"Tu chi sei? Mi conosci?" Paolo jumps back, unable to see anything and curious as to who this mysterious person was that just said his name.

Ross starts to shout as he slowly enunciates his words. "Crap weasel. I don't speak Italian!"

Paolo stumbles backwards and bumps into his apartment door, forcing it open. Ross can hear what sounds like a cat hissing and then a loud meow. He feels it scurry past him as it runs down the hall.

"Oh, no! Il mio gatto!"

"Great. I made you lose the cat. Perfect. I'm the reason why you weasel your way into our lives." Light flashes before Ross's eyes and in the darkness, he can see tiny electrical charges flow up and through his fingers until his hands fade from his sight as he jumps through time again.

* * *

Ross finds himself still sitting down on the floor, but when he looks around, he sees that he is inside Central Perk. He hears a familiar voice yell out "Rachel!" and he looks around to find what looks like Gunther scolding Joey. Ross reaches his hand out and lifts himself up, leaning on the orange couch as he faces the two men.

"Guys. I think something is very wrong here."

Joey spins around and looks at him, a confused expression on his face. "Ross? How did you get back in here?"

Ross shakes his head and walks around the couch. "What?"

Joey gestures towards the front door to the coffee shop. "You just left. Like, not even a minute ago. How did you get back here so fast? Don't you remember? I told you that I liked Rachel and you took off."

Ross stumbles over to Joey and leans against the small high-top table where he is seated. He grabs Joey's shirt and bunches it up in his hands as he shakes his friend back and forth. Ross's eyes go wide and he has a fanatical look on his face. "Oh my god! Joey. You have to help me. I'm not supposed to be here. I can't stop jumping."

"Like, for joy? Because you seemed pretty pissed before."

Ross screws up his face. "What? Oh, yeah. Right. Listen to me, that doesn't matter right now. I'm not the Ross you know. Forget everything you think you know about me."

Joey starts to pout and his wounded eyes look as if they are about to burst with tears. "What do you mean? Wait, are you saying we can't be friends anymore because I like Rachel? Are you telling me to forget all about you?"

Ross huffs and shakes his head. "No, Joey! I don't care about your stupid crush on Rachel!" Just then, Ross starts to feel light headed and sees a very low flicker of electricity emit from his fingertips. "Oh no! I need more time! I can't go yet." Ross forcefully holds his eyes shut as he strains, not even knowing if it is helping keep him in this timeline or not. "Joey! You have to help me! Give me your wallet!"

"What?"

Ross shakes his head and then snaps his finger, causing a spark to fly from his hand. Making Joey jump back. "If you give me your wallet you can ask Rachel out."

Joey smiles and starts to reach into his back pocket. "Really? All you want is my wallet?" Ross nods frantically. "Okay, here. I don't really have any money in it." He hands it to Ross and once Ross touches it, a shock flows through his body and into Joey's. "Ow! Hey! You shocked me! Did you rub a balloon on your head or something?"

"Yeah, or something. Okay Uh, Gunter, give me your pad and pen."

Gunther looks back dismissively at Ross. "No."

Ross starts to become agitated and flails his arms around. "Gunther!" He looks over at Joey, almost pleading to him with his eyes for help and Joey flashes a stern look over at Gunther.

Gunther huffs and shakes his head. "Fine. But I really think you people need to find other places to hang out." He then mumbles under his breath, "Except for Rachel."

Ross shoots him a puzzled look and snatches the pad and pen, giving Gunther a shock as well. Gunther yelps and steps back, but before Ross can say anything, the entire room begins to fade from sight as Ross slips back out of time.

* * *

Ross's eyes open again and he finds himself in the hallway, standing in between apartment nineteen and apartment twenty. He shakes his head vigorously, trying to stay conscious and focus his vision. He feels as if he has been underwater and his ears pop a bit when he swallows. He hears a familiar voice that he hadn't heard in years break through his disoriented mind. "I could have cats."

He then hears the stern voice of his sister and he sees her swing the door shut. "Goodbye Mr. Heckles"

"Heckles? Oh my god!" Ross leans in and hugs him, causing a shock to go through both their bodies as Heckles jumps back.

"Get off me you weirdo. He, you're always hanging around with the noisy girls."

Ross smiles and nods. "I know. Do you know if Joey is in there?"

Heckles squints at Ross and stares at him with disdain in his eyes. "I don't know which one that is."

Ross, starts to experience some lightheadedness and feels as if he is going to fade away again, slipping through time once more. He reaches out and grabs Mr. Heckles around the collar of his robe and Heckles brushes him off, feeling another shock of electricity as he does.

"Stop shocking me. I've got a mechanical heart; you might make it stop working. Then how would you feel."

"What? You don't have a mechanical heart!"

"I could have one. What do you know? You're just some noisy kid with greasy hair."

"Heckles. Please. Before I time travel again. Is Joey in there."

Heckles starts to mumble under his breath. "You know, I could have been a time traveler."

Ross, starting to fade away again, shakes an admonishing fist at Heckles. "Dammit Heckles!"

* * *

When Ross opens his eyes again, he looks around and it feels as if he had not moved at all. He is still standing in the hallway near his sister's apartment, practically in the same spot he was in when he saw Mr. Heckles. He looks around to see if Mr. Heckles was still standing there with him, but the hallway was empty.

Before he can think of what to do next, the door to apartment twenty opens up and he instinctively slides up against the wall to try and get out of sight. Rachel steps out of the door, holding a newspaper straight and away from her body as she grimaces at it and walks towards the garbage chute. When she steps out of sight, he looks inside the apartment quickly and makes eye contact with Marcel. His brow wrinkles in confusion. "Where am I?" Marcel, seeing Ross, hops out of the apartment to jump on him, but before Ross can do anything, he fades away again.

* * *

Ross hears a crackle of electricity and finds himself outside on the ground behind a bush. He gets up to his knees and tries to shake the murky hangover he seems to experience with every time jump. He tries to focus on the people around him. He sees swing set where it looks like some children and their parents are playing. The weather is brisk, and the ground is cold to the touch. Before he can get up to his feet, he hears his sister start to cheer gleefully. "Forty-two to twenty-one! Like the turkey ross is done!"

"The football game?" He looks over and he sees Joey, who starts to back away as Monica begins to argue with his younger self about the score. "Just a little closer Joe, come on." Joey drifts back far enough that Ross can reach out and grab his leg, causing him to yelp as he looks down. Joey, wide eyed, is stricken with shock and horror as he sees the older version of Ross crouched down behind the bush.

"Joey! Shh!"

"What the hell! Wait a minute. Are you Russ?"

"Joe! No. It's me Ross."

Joe looks back over at the younger Ross, still arguing with Monica. "Oh, so is that Russ?"

"Joey! No. Look." Ross scribbles down a note quickly on the pad Gunther gave him and tears it off, handing it to Joey. "I need your help! Read this and keep it to yourself. Do not tell anyone."

Joey starts to look around. "Am I on some sort of game show? Ooo! Can I use this for my reel?"

"Joey! I am not from a game show. I am from the future!"

"What? That doesn't make any sense?"

Ross looks around and then points toward a young, blonde woman sitting on one of the park benches. "Okay. I'll prove it to you. You know the Dutch girl over there?"

"Yeah?"

"She ends up picking Chandler over you."

"Now I know I am on a game show. That would never happen in real life."

"Well, it helps, Chandler starts to dance around and when she sees that, she leaves and doesn't go out with either one of you."

Joey starts to rub his chin. "That does make more sense."

"Just read the note! Please!" Joey looks as if he were about to say something else, but before he can, Ross fades from sight, traveling to another unknown point in time.

* * *

Ross is shaken out of his stupor quickly as a man in a delivery uniform shouts, "Ahh! A ghost!" at him and shoves a box into his chest as he turns and runs away.

Ross shakes his head, a dejected look on his face. "I'm not a ghost. Ghosts aren't real. I'm a time-traveler." He looks around, seeing he is back in his sister's apartment building, but, on a different floor. He walks over to the stairs, absentmindedly carrying the box with him, until he finally gets to the fifth floor. He instinctively walks over towards his sister's door, and stops himself, realizing he should probably go across the hall and look for Joey.

Suddenly aware he is still holding the box; he looks down and reads the label. "Momma's Little Bakery?" He shrugs his shoulders and puts it down on the floor in front of apartment twenty and turns to go across the hall when he feels a knot in the pit of his stomach and an electrical charge runs through his fingers. Ross purses his lips and angrily looks up, banging his arms together, gesturing the Geller middle finger to whatever power might be making him jump around through time.

* * *

With his vision still foggy, the only sign he gets is hearing a man yelp and a loud crash. He is finally able to focus his vision and looks down to see Mr. Heckles' lifeless body on the floor with a broom still tightly gripped in his hand as he lay sprawled over a fallen chair. "Oh no. Did I just kill Heckles? That can't be a good sign." Ross, again feels the sting of static shock course through his body as he disappears again.

* * *

Ross feels someone bump into him roughly, knocking him down on the ground. He looks up and sees Joey with several bottles of alcohol wrapped up in his arms. "Ross, man. You gotta be careful. I almost dropped these."

"Joey!" Ross leaps up to his feet and grabs Joey roughly by his shoulders. "Oh, thank god!"

Joey stares at Ross with a dumbfounded look on his face. "Uh, Ross, aren't you supposed to be in there?" He gestures with his head towards his apartment door.

I am in there and I am out here. I'm the one traveling through time. Remember the football game?"

Joey's eyes go wide and he staggers back against the wall. "Wait, that was real? I thought maybe I was hallucinating because of how hungry I was for turkey."

Ross grabs the bottles from Joey's hands and places them on the ground. Joey winces a bit at the feeling of static shock stings his fingers when they make contact with each other. "Look. You have to help me." He pulls out the pen and pad and scribbles down a new note. "Look, you have to meet me here, at this exact time and on this date. I will be there and I need you to do what I wrote in the first note."

"Yeah, I remember. It said, uh, 'stop David'. What the hell does that even mean?"

"You have to stop him from destroying the machine. Now take this." Ross pulls Joey's wallet out of his pocket. "Keep this, and anytime I see you I'll ask for it and you will know it is me. Okay?"

Joey looks down at the wallet in his hand and opens it up. "What is it?"

"It's your wallet from the future."

Joey's eyes stop on his photo ID. "Why would you show me this? I look so old!"

Ross looks over his shoulder at the photo. "I think you look okay." Before Joey can turn around to say something, Ross fades from sight, disappearing from the hallway.

* * *

Ross finds himself outside, in what looks to be an alley between two buildings. He starts to rub his arms, feeling the cold as his breath leaves puffs of white upon the mist in the air. He shivers a bit, and looks up at the night sky. "Now where am I?"

Suddenly his attention is brought to the fire escape as he hears what sounds like him own voice shout. "Don't rush me!" He looks up to see Joey and this timeline's version of himself, dangling from the fire escape.

"Ross, you should know that my pants are starting to come down. And I'm not wearing any underwear."

"Oh no!" Ross looks around on the ground and snatches a few garbage bags, throwing them near the ground underneath his younger self, hoping to break the fall that he knows is coming next. He watches as this younger version of himself falls to the ground, missing the garbage bags completely.

"Ow! My ankle!" Ross shakes his head in frustration at his younger self as he feels himself start to fade away again.

* * *

Ross stumbles backwards awkwardly and catches himself before he falls over the railing on Monica's balcony. He puts his hand on his chest and tries to catch his breath as he collects himself after narrowly escaping a potentially deadly fall. His eyes open wide as he steps forward, and he leans closer to the window so he can make out who the figures inside the apartment are.

He sees himself, down on his knees, hugging Rachel tightly around her waist and she seems to be what he could only describe as heartbroken. From this angle, he can clearly see the hurt, anger and sense of betrayal all over her face that he could not see when he was down on his knees, begging her not to end them. He felt a tear drag down his cheek as he became more empathic with her than with himself in this moment. He wondered how he could not see then what he sees right now. The heartbreak she feels is so palpable to him that it is as if he is suffocating on her sadness.

He shakes his head and presses his palm against the glass. "I'm so sorry. I thought I knew, but I didn't know." He feels the familiar surge of electricity once again as he disappears into the mist.

* * *

When his eyes adjust, he realizes that the hand he was pressing up against the window of his sister's apartment was now firmly placed on a bedroom door, pushing it slightly ajar. He hears a rapid, odd squeaking noise and turns to take in his surroundings. The walls are bare, save only one, lonely framed photo on the far side of the hallway. He steps forward and see the familiar faces of his parents in the photo; much younger versions of themselves, and he realizes, it is from their wedding day.

He looks up and down the hallway, seeing just a few darkened rooms. The house he grew up in seems so empty and quiet, save for the squeaks that are becoming louder and faster. Ross shudders when he hears heavy breathing from the room next to him as his mother yells out, "Yes! Yes!" His hand flies to his mouth and he starts to dry heave. "That's it Jack! Put your hips into it!" He covers his ears and crumples into a ball on the floor. "Please now. Let me go somewhere else now. Anytime soon would be nice. I do not need to witness my own conception!" Mercifully, whatever it is that is controlling Ross's journey, takes hold of him again and pulls him from this painfully uncomfortable moment in his life and hurdles him forward again through time.

* * *

When he does open his eyes again, he finds himself on the ground, back on the balcony of his sister's apartment.

He stands up straight and quickly brings himself to the window to see if he can recognize where he is. Cupping his hands on the glass and looking through them, he can see everyone else watching something on the television. Chandler and Joey were sitting on the couch, Phoebe in the chair, with Rachel perched on the arm and Monica on the floor next to it. He could not angle himself to see the screen. Suddenly, everyone in the apartment turns and he jumps back worried that they might have seen him. Instead, he realizes they are all looking towards the kitchen and he follows their lead to find out what caught their attention.

When he finally spies the figure standing at the door, he realizes that it is him. A younger, version of himself, appearing to be very uncomfortable, and as if on cue, he starts to feel the same way out on the balcony as he begins to experience all of the emotions he did on this day.

Rachel stands up and walks across the room. He knows what is coming, and yet, even now, out here on the balcony, his heart begins to race as the edges of his eyes start to become watery with tears as goosebumps spread across his forearms. She reaches him, there at the door, and cups his face as she begins to kiss him passionately.

From his new vantage point of this moment in his life, he can't help but smile. Everyone else in the room looks completely caught up in it as well. Chandler was patting Joey on the back in an almost congratulatory manner. Phoebe was playfully pounding her hands on the armrests of the chair and his sister was wiping away a tear.

He realizes now that they all felt this back then. He felt it. She felt it. Their friends felt it, and, he feels it now, out here on the balcony. He does not know how, he does not know when, and he could not even tell himself why, but he knows in this moment he will feel this way again. He will love Rachel again and she will love him and he won't need a time machine to do it.

* * *

A flash of light blinds him and the scene before him changes. The apartment, no longer bright and filled with people. Instead, all he can see is the flickering of candle flame. What must be one-hundred candles giving the room a magical glow. There in the living room, he can see them. Chandler and his sister. She drops down to her knees and he can't help but chuckle at the idea that his sister needs to take control of her own proposal.

He brings his hand up to his face to wipe at his eyes, trying to stop tears before they form. He chuckles as he thinks to himself, _"Big surprise Ross, you like proposals."_

The emotional rollercoaster he has been riding ever since David broke the machine finally overwhelms him and brings him to tears. He sees Chandler drop down to his knees and even though he cannot hear them, he feels as if he knows exactly what they are saying. He knows how important they are to each other, he knows how happy they make each other, and he knows that even though it may mean he has to live through every mistake he has ever made, it will be all worth it if he can at least ensure one love story has a happy ending.

"Monica. I promise, I'm going to fix everything. You both deserve this more than I do. You never tried to cheat. You lived through all your own heartbreaks and it got you here to this moment. That's why it means so much. Because you earned this."

* * *

There is another flash of light as electricity flows through his body and he finds himself standing in his apartment. He looks back-and-forth and sees the spare bedroom empty and begins to wonder if maybe he is back where it all began. Back to the moment that Rachel decided to move back to Joey's, but he quickly dismisses that thought as he cannot find any of Emma's things lying around.

He looks back out into the living room and sees Monica and Rachel standing next to his couch.

"All right. I guess we should go."

"No wait. Wait!"

"Oh yeah, right." Monica reaches down and grabs some cash from his coffee table and stuffs it into her pocket.

Ross's eyes go wide in anger as he suddenly realizes where all of his loose cash has disappeared to over the years. "Monica!" Monica and Rachel turn around quickly, but before they can see him, Ross disappears.

* * *

When Ross's vision clears up, he sees himself standing in the laboratory. He can't hear anything, but he can see that he and David are shouting at each other. His ears pop and finally, he can hear himself say something about how he blew his chances with Rachel.

Realizing that David is about to do whatever it was that started him on this haphazard journey through time, he lunges from the corner of the room in hopes to reach him in time and stop him, only to freeze when he hears Joey yell out and tackle David to the ground.

Joey looks down and winces as he realizes he knocked David unconscious. "Oh man, I really hope I was supposed to do that."

The younger version of Ross looks down at David and then back at Joey, "How did you know?"

"What do you mean? You told me to do this." Joey holds out the piece of paper with Ross's instructions scribbled across the front.

Just then, the version of Ross that had orchestrated all of this, rushes over and wraps Joey up in a tight hug. "Joey! You did it! I knew I could count on you."

Joey give Ross a few hearty pats on the back. "I couldn't let you down pal. Plus, now you can fill me in on my future. Like, uh, how many playmates am I married to?"

Ross rolls his eyes and laughs; he reaches for Joey one more time but his hand passes through him.

Joey's eyes go wide with fear and confusion. "Hey, what's happening to you?"

"Yeah. What is happening?" The previous timeline's Ross walks over and studies himself, "How are there two of us? This doesn't make any sense."

Ross looks over at his younger self and solemnly nods. "Actually, it does make sense. Since David didn't destroy the machine, I, uh, I don't think I exist anymore. It's all up to you now." Ross looks at his hand as it becomes almost translucent.

"Wait. Does this mean I fix everything?"

"No, but uh, I think you will. I think you know you have to. Good luck." Then, the Ross that had been on such an unpredictable and turbulent time-traveling odyssey disappears for the last time, leaving a stunned Ross and Joey in his wake.

* * *

A/N - I used google translator for Paolo's Italian, so if the translation isn't perfect, that's why. This chapter probably could have gone on forever, but then it would have been about 25,000 words long. Nobody wants that.


	7. Ross Gets Everything

**Ross Gets Everything**

"So, uh, this is a time machine?" Joey gestures towards the flat metal examination table with a dumbfounded look on his face.

"Well, not that." Ross walks around to the console that is next to the exam table and points at it. "This is the time machine. You turn these dials to the date and year that you want to visit, then put that helmet on and pull this lever and then, well, it just happens. I know this sounds unbelievable."

Joey looks Ross over, studying his face. "So, you're from the future? Why don't you look old?"

"I can only exist in my own body at some other point in time. So, I'm the older me, but I am in my younger body. But I'll have you know I have skin like a baby, even in the future. I moisturize and make sure to hit my T-zone." Ross motions across his forehead with his finger and then down to the bridge of his nose.

Joey nods and adopts a sage expression. His eyes then widen and a salacious smile spreads across his lips. "So, you can tell me about all the hot babes I'm sleeping with in the future!"

Ross winces and turns his attention back to the console, looking at the dials in an attempt to distract himself. "Oh, yeah. Actually, uh, the last girl you were into was…uh…you know. Never mind."

Joey puts his hand on Ross's shoulder and playfully jabs at him. "What? Tell me? Ooo. Was she ugly?"

Ross shakes his head. "No, nothing like that."

Joey steps back, now an indignant look appears on his face. "Why can't you tell me? What is wrong with the women I date in the future?"

Ross stands up and exhales sharply. "Because the last girl you liked before I started time traveling was Rachel!" He spits out the name as if it caused him physical pain just to say it.

Joey steps back, a shocked look on his face. "Rachel? You mean Rachel Rachel? Your Rachel? But, that doesn't make sense."

Ross sighs and puts his hand on Joey's shoulder. "I know. But, uh, it's true. You guys end up living together and you have these feelings for her and, uh, now that I think about it, I don't know if you have seen anyone after all that happened." Ross looks down with a clarifying look. "Wow. You might not be over her yet."

"But that's crazy. You two are getting married."

"Not in my timeline. See, I uh, came back and fixed something so that the two of us wouldn't break up."

"Wait, you two aren't together?"

"No."

"That's even crazier. You're Ross and Rachel!"

"We haven't been Ross and Rachel for a long time, even though we still seem to come back together, it never feels right. Neither one of us feels that spark or loses our breath when we get together like we did in the beginning."

"Maybe that's your problem." Joey nods and flashes a condescending look at Ross.

"What?"

Joey puts his hand on Ross's shoulder and gives him a reassuring squeeze. "Always looking for things to be just right or to feel a certain way about each other all the time. From what I've seen, it isn't always like that. If you want to be with her, then you can't wait for some magical moment. I know how you two guys first got together was pretty amazing, but you can't expect it to always be like that. You know, there won't always be sparks or someone racing off to the airport or a prom video to watch. Sometimes there will be dirty laundry, bad TV and leftover pizza."

"Leftover pizza?"

"You know what I'm saying."

Ross nods reluctantly. "You know what Joe; I think I do know what you mean. I've seen that." Ross pauses, uncertain how much of the future he should actually reveal to Joey, fearing that he could cause further damage if he knew too much. "I've seen that with Monica's relationship and I think sometimes we all discounted it as being real because we never saw those big grand gestures and all those fireworks between the two of them. But, well, maybe they have it right. Even when things aren't going great, they both seem so happy. You know, it's like you never have to doubt how perfect they are for each other."

Joey nods even though he is not sure of what he is agreeing to. "Well, look, I promise not to go out with Rachel. I mean, that's not right. Your friendship is too important to me."

Ross smiles and places his hand on Joey's shoulder. "I know, but I don't think it works like that. If me messing with time told me anything, it is that some things just happen, and it could be even worse when you mess with it."

Joey looks down and shakes his head. "Wow. Then let me say now that I am so sorry I have sex with Rachel."

Ross twists his face up in disgust. "What? No, you guys don't have sex."

Joey wrinkles his brow in confusion. "Okay, look. I know your feelings are hurt, but uh, you don't have to lie to me."

Ross begins to gesticulate wildly in frustration. "I'm not lying! You guys don't go out! And you certainly don't have sex!"

Joey nods as a cocky smile spreads across his lips. "Ross, I'm pretty sure if I like a girl we go out and have sex. It's kind of what I do. Actually, I don't know if I can promise not to have sex with her. Rachel is pretty hot."

"Joe!"

Joey shrinks back, realizing what he said. "Sorry. I'll think of something." He snaps his fingers and smiles widely. "Ooo! I know what to do! I'll see a hypnotist."

"A Hypnotist?"

"Yeah. Phoebe has this hypnotist friend and she helps people quit smoking and lose weight all the time. I bet she can make it so I don't want to sleep with Rachel. This way, if something is about to happen, without me even knowing it, I won't be able to go through with it. I'll just ask her to put some kind of whammy on me that will prevent me from having sex with her."

Ross chuckles, his voice thick with conceit. "Joey, Hypnotism does not work. It's a scam."

Joey raises his eyebrows in disbelief. "Says the guy who just told me he is a time traveler."

Ross nods. "Good point."

"Okay. Then it is settled. That is what I'll do."

"Wow Joe. You would do that for me?"

"Yeah, sure. Man, you are lucky we got together and talked about this before I slept with her. I mean, then, who knows what she would have done to me."

Ross nods and laughs nervously. He crouches back down and begins to inspect the back of the console. "Oh man. David already removed some of the wires. This isn't going to work like this." The two men turn to look back at David, who is still slumped over in the chair they had tied him to. "Oh man, he is still out cold. I'm just going to have to try to figure this out on my own."

"You think you can do that?"

Sure. I'm a scientist."

"Yeah, of dinosaurs."

Ross shakes his head angrily. "It's still a scientific field Joe!" He returns his attention to the console. "In all this time using the machine, I never really looked back here. I hope I can figure this out."

Joey looks over at David. "Okay, well, uh, maybe David can help."

"I don't know. He came here to destroy the machine because he didn't want me to screw up what he made for himself here in this timeline."

"What do you mean?"

Ross sits up behind the machine and sighs. "Well, he and Phoebe aren't supposed to be married. He did something to change all that. Who knows what else he may have messed up."

"Really? I mean, they've been together for a while. Since they met that one time at Central Perk."

"I know it probably looks normal to you, and believe me, I know what he is trying to do. I just learned that it isn't worth it."

Ross puts some of the loose wire back into the empty sockets of the console and then puts the helmet on. "Okay, we are going to do a test run and see if I got this working right."

"Are you sure that's safe?"

"I don't know."

Joey looks down, his brow wrinkled with worry. "Okay. Tell me what you need me to do."

"Well, turn that dial." Ross stares off contemplatively. "Let's see, uh, I know. Go to October of 1994."

"Why?"

Ross lays down on the examination table. "I think that should be a good time because I don't think I can mess anything up. Rachel and I aren't together yet, Monica isn't with anyone, it is before David shows up. It's perfect."

Joey nods and turns the dial. He reaches over and puts his hand on the lever. "Okay. I guess this is good luck."

"If everything goes well, I should be back here soon." He gives Joey a thumbs up and an encouraging smirk. Joey pulls the lever down and a familiar electrical charge flows through Ross's body as he bites hard on the inside of his cheek and blacks out.

* * *

When Ross opens his eyes again, he finds himself standing on the street, somewhere in midtown Manhattan. He looks around and can only see a crowd of people bustling down the sidewalk. Before he can turn around, he is overwhelmed by a putrid stench. He covers his nose, but then notices the dishelmed, dirty clothing he is wearing. "What the?" He takes another whiff and realizes the smell is coming from his own body. "Oh, what the hell is this?"

"What's what Lizzy? My soda?"

Ross looks over to his right and sees Phoebe standing next to a food cart holding a pink can of soda. "Pheebs?"

"Lizzy?"

"What?"

"Oh no. You're not Lizzy anymore, are you?"

Ross looks around and makes eye contact with the street vendor who was trying to hand him back some change. "Where am I?"

"Oh! Ross?"

Ross turns to look at Phoebe with a confused expression on his face. "Yeah. It's Ross. Why did you call me Lizzy?"

Phoebe grabs Ross by the shoulders and gets him to face the shiny, reflective metal of the food cart. "Because look, you are Lizzy."

Ross stares at his distorted reflection. The face staring back at him is of an older woman. Her hair unkempt, her face wrinkled and dirty and her clothing torn. "What? How did this happen?"

"Well, I don't know. But the other night I had a dream that you were going to possess Lizzy's body. Ooo. Does that mean you're dead? Did you get to see my mom? How is she?"

Ross/Lizzy storms off and settles down on the sidewalk, leaning his/her back up against a building. "Phoebe. I'm not dead. I'm from the future."

"Ooo. That's even better. My psychic told me I would be visited by someone from the future and that they would tell me a secret."

Ross/Lizzy flails his/her arms around angrily. "What? I'm not going to tell you a secret. Phoebe. Psychics aren't real."

"Says the guy who is now living in a woman's body who just told me he is from the future. I'm not sure you are in a position to bad mouth psychics."

"Good point."

"So, I guess you aren't supposed to be here."

"I know. I'm trying to get back to where I am supposed to be."

"Ooo! Like Quantum Leap!"

Ross/Lizzy smiles and nods enthusiastically. "Yeah! Just like Quantum Leap!"

"Ooo! Does that mean I get to be your Dean Stockwell?"

Ross/Lizzy sighs. "Sure Pheebs."

"Maybe you're here to stop something bad from happening. You know, like Scott Bakula." Phoebe sits down next to Ross/Lizzy and puts her hand on his/her shoulder.

"I don't know Pheebs." Ross/Lizzy holds his/her head in his/her hands and looks down. "I've been trying to fix things this whole time and I just make stuff worse. All I wanted to do was make it so Rachel and I don't break up."

"I know."

Ross/Lizzy looks up at Phoebe incredulously. "What do you mean you know?"

"Well, you and Rachel have two break ups, a few flings, and then you get back together."

Ross/Lizzy scoffs and shakes his/her head. "No we don't. I think we just had our last chance to be together ruined. Anyway, I'm not trying to save my relationship with Rachel anymore. Its, someone else in the group that I have to help."

"Is it me and Joey? I always had a feeling about that Tribbiani."

"What? No. It is about Monica and, well, and the guy she is supposed to marry. If I don't get them together, she ends up alone and I can't have that on my conscience."

"Oh yeah. You know, her future is always really blurry to me. Sometimes I see her with an old guy, and then sometimes I see her holding babies and smiling, and then sometimes she just looks really sad. I don't know what is going to happen to her."

Ross/Lizzy furrows his/her brow. "This was just supposed to be a test run, but the machine is broken. I tried to fix it and now I'm stuck in a homeless woman."

Phoebe points and admonishing finger at Ross/Lizzy. "Hey! You could do a whole lot worse than having to be Lizzy. She is a sweet lady who was always nice to me!"

Ross/Lizzy raises his/her hands up in surrender. "Okay, okay. I'm sorry. I'm just so frustrated, I want to make this work so bad! But every time I fix something for me, something for one of you guys gets all messed up."

Phoebe lets loose a cocky chuckle. "Well sure it does. That karma 101. But I'm telling you. You don't have to go back to the past to make things right with Rachel. That'll happens anyway."

"Pheebs. I think you are mistaken. This last time, well, I am pretty sure it is _the_ last time for us."

Phoebe giggles and rolls her eyes. "It's always the last time, until it is the next time."

"Phoebe, that doesn't make any sense."

"You're a time traveler stuck in a woman's body. Does any of that make sense to you? Anyway, you guys are lobsters."

Ross/Lizzy snaps his/her head towards Phoebe. "What does that mean?" Ross/Lizzy starts to feel a tingle in his/her stomach and he/she knows that he/she is about to be pulled back out of the timeline.

"Oh, you'll see what it means."

"See what, oh no, I'm running out of time. "Ross/Lizzy stands up and starts to stumble around. "Pheebs! Whatever you do, promise me you will look inside that can before you drink it."

"What?"

"Just look inside the can!" Darkness envelopes Ross/Lizzy and he/she faints and falls to the floor.

* * *

A/N - Just to make sure there isn't any confusion. The beginning of this chapter is taking place during season 4 before Ross marries Emily (except in this timeline he was going to marry Rachel, until David showed up). That's why Joey is so floored at the idea of Ross and Rachel being broken up - this timeline's Joey has never seen them apart.

Why is Ross in Lizzy's body? Well, I told you, don't worry about the mechanics of time travel because I am making it all up as I go along. The machine breaks, and it doesn't work the same as it did in the beginning.

One more chapter to go!


	8. Ross Fixes Everything

**Ross Fixes Everything**

Ross opens his eyes to find Joey sitting in a chair next to him. It takes a moment for his eyes to adjust to the low light in the room. When everything finally comes into focus, he sees that Joey is wearing a white lab coat, eye glasses, and is holding a large manual in his hands.

"Ross. You're back. Thank goodness. I think we may have attached some relays incorrectly and the nano-tachyons created a magnetic field around the cadmium in the head gear."

Ross looks up at Joey as his mouth opens wide in horror. "Oh no! I must have screwed something up. Joey, are you a scientist now? Oh no, does that mean I'm the actor?"

Joey removes his glasses and places one end in his mouth as he raises an eyebrow and studies Ross. His stoic expression soon begins to crack and a smile stretches out across his face as he begins to laugh hysterically. "Hahaha! No! I found these things over there and thought it would be fun to try and trick you. I got all those words I said out of here." Joey points at the manual in his hands.

Ross snatches the book from Joey. "Wait, what is this? Oh my God. Joey, these are the schematics for the machine. I can fix it with this and then make sure none of this stuff happens. You're a genius!"

Joey shakes his head as a serious expression of concern falls upon his face. "What? No, I told you. I was acting. I found this stuff. I'm not a genius. I'm Joey. Did you hit your head?"

"Yeah, but that's beside the point. Let me see if I can figure this out."

Ross walks around to the back of the machine and begins to pull out and reattach wires as he follows the model drawn up in the manual.

Joey sits back down and spins around in his chair. "So, what is it like, traveling through time."

"It isn't all it is cracked up to be. You know, you try to fix your life and you cause something else bad to happen. You walk around in the past and only you know these things that are going to happen and you want to stop the bad things from happening before they ever did. It's like I am trying to apologize for things I haven't done yet."

"I don't get it."

Ross stops his motions and looks up at Joe as he tries to figure out a way to explain himself more succinctly. "Well, let's say, I don't know, uh, you go back in time and tell yourself not to be an actor. You're all like 'Joey! Being an actor is too hard. You should be a plumber.' So now, even though you helped yourself, there could be all these other things that happen as a result. Maybe you never move into the city, you never live with Chandler, then, Chandler gets a terrible roommate, and we all stop hanging out as a big group because no one likes him. All because you made what you thought was one teeny, tiny, little different decision."

Joey's eyes open wide. "Wow. So, you're saying that me being an actor saved the group."

"No, I'm saying…"

Joey cuts Ross off as he gets up from the chair and begins to pace around the room. "Wow, so I can never quit trying to make it. You know Ross, this is great, because sometimes I get a little discouraged about acting and I wonder if I am wasting my time, but now that I know how important it is, I will never quit acting!"

Ross shakes his head and adopts a nonplussed expression. "Okay, that makes sense, I guess." Ross turns his attention back to the machine and pushes in one more wire. "Great. I think I have it all done now."

"So, what's your plan?"

Ross gets up and spins the dials on the machine. "Well, I have to stop myself from trying to control everything. I have to let things happen and, uh, I guess, hope that I'm a lobster."

"What?"

Ross sits down on the exam table and puts the helmet on again, for what he hopes is the last time. "Nothing. Okay Joe, if this works, I won't be back."

I'm glad I could help buddy." The two men look at each other and share a smile. Joey looks down and starts to choke a bit on his words as he fights back a tear. "I guess I'll see you in a few years."

Ross nods and then lays down. "See you in a few years buddy."

Joey flips the switch and the surge of power courses through Ross's body, causing him to pass out.

* * *

Ross's eyes open and he looks around the room. He sees the familiar, dusty lab that has been the home to the time machine and is startled when David begins to rush past him.

"Oh no. My cat got into the chem lab! I'll be right back. Do not touch anything!" David scurries out of the room, leaving Ross all alone.

For a moment. Ross is tempted to try to travel through time once again. He can start all over, try a new way to make everyone happy, including himself. His hand reaches out towards the console and as he is about to touch the dial, he stops himself. He knows where he went wrong last time. This time, he can really fix everything. He lets his fingers dance on the face of the machine as he contemplates what he should do. He shakes his head and brings his hand up to the power switch and turns it off. A low hum of electricity starts and stops as the indicator lights along the top of the machine begin to slowly fade, until they finally go dark.

He reaches around the back and pulls out several wires, stuffing them in his pocket. He grabs the helmet from the exam table and tucks in under his arm as he looks around the room. Ross quickly gets behind the machine and pushes it out the door to the lab and eventually into the alley outside the building. He hurries as he wheels it along the alley and down the street for quite some time, still unsure of what he is going to do. He turns down several city blocks, trying to get as far away from where it was being kept as fast as he could without looking suspicious.

Ross finally shoves the machine up against the wall and tosses the helmet down next to it, pulling the wires from his pocket and tossing them on the ground. "Well, just hiding it here won't help." He scans the area around him and finds a small, lead pipe sticking out of a pile of garbage in the far corner of the alley. He nods to himself, grabs the pipe and lifts it over his head. "Okay, I guess it's time to stop living in the past." He brings the pipe down hard on the face of the machine, and a shock of electrical charge flows through his body once more, causing him to drop the pipe. His body crashes down to the ground in a crumpled mess as he passes out once more.

* * *

Ross's eyes open and he immediately brings his hands up to rub his throbbing head. "What did I drink last night." He sits up in his bed and rubs his eyes as he yawns. He suddenly snaps up straight and leaps out of bed. "Wait. Where am I?" He starts to look around his room. He finds the framed photo of Emma on his dresser. He snatches it up and kisses the glass near her face. "Oh thank goodness. Emma. There you are. I've missed you so much." He spins around and lets his eyes run along the wall and claps his hands together triumphantly once he finds what he was looking for, Ben's photograph. There it was, still hanging neatly on the wall where it always had. "Oh wow." He looks around the room. "Was this all a dream? Could that be? It felt so real. Yet, it was so crazy. It must have been a dream."

Ross places Emma's picture back on the dresser and walks out of his bedroom and looks around the apartment. There in the living room he sees the half-filled box of Emma's things that he had started to pack up the night before. Clothes, burping cloths, some stuffed animals. Everything that he remembers doing before he decided to go for a walk last night.

He still feels disorientated but tries to call out and confirm his suspicions that both his daughter and her mother were gone. Just like they were the night before he went on his crazy time traveling odyssey. "Rachel? Are you here?" He waits and stands there between the two bedrooms, hoping for an answer, but the only response he receives is silence.

He jumps up in place and pivots around in a frantic circle. "Monica! I have to know if everything is back to normal!" Ross races into his bedroom and dresses as quickly as he can. He jogs out of the apartment and hurries down the stairs and out onto the street. Charging across and ignoring the honking horns of the cars he causes to stop short as he dances in front of them in his frenzied race to reach his sister's apartment building.

By the time he reaches Monica's apartment, he is a sweaty mess, breathing hard and barely able to hold himself up on the frame of the door. He lifts his hand and begins to knock impatiently. "Monica! Monica! Chandler! Open up!"

Monica opens the door slowly and looks at her brother. "What is the matter with you?"

Ross charges past her. "Chandler? Chandler! Get out here!"

"Ross, what are you doing? Chandler isn't here."

Ross looks around the apartment and then crashes down on Monica's couch as he drops his weary head into his hands. "Oh no. I screwed it up and now he isn't here and everything is ruined!"

Monica rushes over and sits down next to him, she puts her hand on his shoulder and rubs it gently. "Ross. Relax. He should be back soon., He just went out for some bagels and a few newspapers so he could check the help wanted ads. What is wrong with you?"

Ross springs up and smiles as he hugs his sister tightly. "Oh wow. Oh man. Thank goodness. I, uh, well I guess I had a really bad dream. Uh, how are you two doing? Everything is okay right? You guys are still married? Right?"

Monica pulls back and studies her brother's face. "We're fine. Everything is fine. Are you fine?"

Ross shudders and releases a sigh of relief. "Good. Good. Yes I am."

Monica frowns and her eyes convey worried concern for her brother. "Is this about you and Rachel? She told us she was moving out and taking Emma with her. I'm really sorry."

Ross sits back and slumps down. "Yeah. Me too."

"Is this why you are so worked up? You aren't still in love with her? Are you?"

Ross turns and faces his sister. "I don't know Mon. I don't know if I am _in_ love. I know I love her, but I don't know if it means I want to be with her. I guess I thought that after Emma was born, maybe something would happen and we would both just know what we wanted. I don't think we do yet."

Monica rubs his arm reassuringly. "I'm sorry. I know this must be really tough for you."

"It is. I just wish I knew that everything was going to work out for us, you know, like with you and Chandler."

Monica smiles and blushes but then looks down. "Well, I don't know if that's true."

Ross jumps up again and grabs her by the shoulders. "I know. You two are the real deal. I think maybe, this whole time, me being preoccupied with will I or won't I end up with Rachel, I lost sight of the real love story from our little group."

Monica tries to suppress her smile once more, but Ross's words bring color to her cheeks. "Really?

"Yeah. Maybe, this has been about the two of you all along. And, really, I don't know if two other people deserve it more than you guys. It makes me happy to know, that no matter what life is going to throw at the two of you, it won't break you apart."

"Aw, that's so sweet. But you know, you deserve that too Ross."

"I guess so. I just think, maybe I've been going about getting it all wrong."

Monica places a soft kiss on his cheek and stands up. "How about I make some coffee and you stick around and have some breakfast with us?"

Ross nods and sits back. "Thanks. And, could you tell me about how it all happened with you guys again? You know, except for any of the sex stuff."

"Really?"

Ross nods. "Yeah, I guess I just want to hear a love story with a happy ending."

* * *

**Epilogue I**

Ross's eyes flutter open and he reaches his arm across to the empty side of the bed. The sheets are cold and feel practically undisturbed. He sighs as he allows his eyes to run along the wall next to his bed. He smiles as he finds Ben's photo, now a boy of twelve. Getting to be so inquisitive and curious. Just like Ross at that age.

His eyes then move along until it finds the next photo. Emma, almost five years old. A large, toothy grin on her face. She is silly, demanding and uncompromising. Just a little copy of her mother. He sits up and then looks across the room to find a familiar baby picture in a frame on his dresser. He still has not found the time to hang it up, but he likes having it there to remind him of everything he has that he once foolishly thought were actually a symbol of what he had lost.

Before he can admonish himself any further, the door to his bedroom swings open as Emma and Ben charge into the room.

"Daddy! Daddy!" Ross laughs as the two of them jump into his bed. "Happy Birthday!"

Ross runs his hand through Ben's hair and pulls Emma close to him and gives her a gentle hug. "Wow, thanks guys."

Emma looks up at him and smiles. "We were told that we should let you sleep in today but there's pancakes!"

Ross looks at Ben sternly and then back at Emma. "Pancakes? Who made pancakes?"

"I did." The door to the bedroom opens wide again and Ross smiles as he looks up to see Rachel walk in, holding their infant son in her arms.

Ross bends down and looks over at Ben and Emma. "Maybe we should go out for breakfast." They start to snicker and Rachel scoffs.

"You know, comments like that are how you find yourself looking at a fourth divorce!"

Ross squints his eyes at Rachel to mock an aggrieved reaction to her joke, yet he cannot hold the irate expression for long. He smiles widely and looks down, first, at his two children lying on his bed, then he brings his gaze up to admire his newborn son, and finally, he makes eye contact with his wife.

While it isn't exactly the perfect image of his life that he had always conjured up in his head as a younger man, he now knows that his life doesn't have to be perfect. His sister had taught him that seeking perfection in love was a fools errand. Why waste time looking for perfection, when this imperfect life makes you so much happier than anything else ever could.

* * *

**Epilogue II**

A heavy, reinforced metal door creaks open as the shadowy figure of a man leans down to prop it open. He steps back outside and soon, the squeaking of metal wheels carries from the alleyway and into the building as he pushes an odd looking machine inside. He quickly turns and shuts the door behind him. He positions himself at the back of the machine and pushes it towards the front of the building. Humming lightly as he does.

A woman wearing a green apron turns around and jumps back, startled at seeing this metal monstrosity being wheeled into the front of the coffee house. "Gunther? Is that you?"

Gunther comes from around the back of the machine. "Yeah., I found this thing in the alleyway. I think maybe it is some kind of espresso maker or something. I found this book in the drawer. I think it might be the manual. Want to help me figure out how to hook this up?"

* * *

A/N - Well, there you have it. I started this out as an idea to look at alternate versions of Mondler, but then I just sort of fell in love with Ross in this one that it had to become his story. I hope Mondler fans, Roschel fans, and general Friends fans found this entertaining.

I could have gone on and on with different timelines and different couplings and mixing and mashing canon stories together, but once Ross figured out that the quick fix was not the way to go, it felt like maybe prolonging this story would feel artificial. And now, well, it is left open ended if Gunther ever figures out how to make it work!

Thanks for taking the time to read and review. It means a lot.


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